By Richard Glover

Copyright brisbanetimes

“The Hills Hoist is a New Zealand invention.” That’s what they said on a recent episode of a favourite podcast of mine, What Did You Do Yesterday?. Naturally, I wanted to send a sternly worded email: “Not theirs. Ours.”

There was no excuse for the error. One of the presenters is Max Rushden. He’s English but lives in Melbourne. The other is David O’Doherty. He’s Irish but is a regular at the Melbourne Comedy Festival. Their guest was the wonderful Sara Pascoe, English but married to an Australian and mother to two half-Australian children.

Rushden, clearly, should have his visa revoked. No punishment is too severe. O’Doherty needs to make a full apology. And Pascoe, having made the sensible choice of a handsome Australian husband, needs to better study the deep achievements of the culture from which he hails.

There is “we”. And then there is “Kiwi”. Together we have a shared history of tussling over things. The origins of the pavlova have long been a source of friction, as with the lamington. There’s the ongoing stoush about the Anzac biscuit, as well as about the flat white with which you may wish to wash it down. Then the question of who gets to claim Russell Crowe, Rebecca Gibney, Jane Campion, John Clarke and – oh, the important one – Phar Lap.