By Shovel Intern

Copyright theshovel

Donald Trump, a man who infamously had an affair with a porn star during his wife’s second trimester, has taken a break from his presidential duties of axing late-night shows, to tell people what to do during a pregnancy.

In an announcement alongside Secretary for Vaccine Conspiracies, Robert F Kennedy Jr, the President declared that Tylenol must be avoided at all costs, unless you had a major headache after a big night getting golden showers from Stormy Daniels.

“There is nothing more dangerous for a woman than taking this painkiller drug during her pregnancy,” said the man found liable for sexual abuse.

Sales of the drug Tylenol – AKA paracetamol – skyrocketed amongst pregnant women after the unproven claim was aired by Trump, due to the President saying: “This drug will give your baby autism, so don’t take it and you’ll have a child that could end up normal, like me.”

Together, Trump and RFK Jr are looking into other drugs that could have adverse effects on pregnant women, with the President specifically demanding that he be the one to conduct field research on the impacts of rohypnol.