Dear Annie: My sister “Claire” and I have always been close, but things have shifted since she had her first baby eight months ago. I understand that motherhood changes things, but lately I feel like I’ve been pushed to the sidelines. Every conversation revolves around the baby, and when I try to bring up anything going on in my life, she either tunes out or cuts the conversation short because the baby “needs her.”
I’ve tried to be supportive — babysitting, dropping off meals — but it’s starting to feel one-sided. I miss our friendship, and I don’t know how to talk to her about this without sounding selfish or like I don’t understand how hard this phase is for her.
Do I need to just wait this out and hope things go back to normal? — Missing My Sister
Dear Missing My Sister: Claire probably misses you, too — she just may not have the capacity to show it right now. New motherhood is all-consuming, and while this season feels long, it is temporary. Your bond isn’t gone, just under strain from a major life shift.
Keep showing up for her, but also give space for when she’s ready to reconnect more fully. When things settle, gently suggest some one-on-one time. Your relationship may look different moving forward, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be just as meaningful.
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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.