Dear Annie:
My daughter and I were recently left out of my niece’s wedding in Bentonville, Arkansas. Relatives came from Memphis and Birmingham, yet we were not invited. When I asked why, my brother-in-law gave the odd excuse that he “didn’t want anyone eating in his car on the highway.” Needless to say, that doesn’t explain why we were excluded from the celebration.
I feel hurt and confused. Family members travel back and forth to different events every year, but somehow, we were left out this time. How can I address this slight? And more importantly, how do I prevent something like this from happening again?
— Left Out
Dear Left Out:
Being left off a wedding list hurts, especially when the excuse is as thin as “no eating in the car.” That is not a reason; it is a brush-off. Do not waste energy chasing explanations that will never satisfy you. If the relationship matters, let them know you and your daughter were hurt and that you want to be included in the future. Say it once, calmly, and then step back. If the pattern continues, the best choice may be to invest your time with the people who are glad to have you at the table and will save you a slice of cake.
“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication, and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit creators publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
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