Copyright The Oregonian
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I discussed our 25th anniversary and mentioned Hawaii as a possibility. He reached out to his brother and sister-in-law for suggestions, since they have visited Hawaii twice and we never have. My husband mentioned to my sister-in-law (without consulting me) that maybe the four of us should travel together to Hawaii. Now my in-laws want to travel with us! My husband is enthusiastic because it will lower the cost. I am very hurt that I wasn’t even consulted. I didn’t know until I overheard them talking about spitting costs on the Hawaii trip. Abby, I was not planning a 25th anniversary as a foursome. My husband is calling me a “sourpuss” for not jumping on board with the plan. In my mind, it’s supposed to be an anniversary, not a couples retreat. Am I wrong? -- CROWDED IN THE SOUTH DEAR CROWDED: You are not in the wrong. That your husband and in-laws would alter the plans for your 25th anniversary without consulting you is disrespectful. You should have been consulted. That he has now resorted to name-calling because you are upset is out of line. If you feel you won’t be happy celebrating this milestone with them, tell your sister-in-law this was sprung on you with no preparation, which you feel was wrong, and you are not happy about it. Then decide which YOU would prefer -- to travel to Hawaii as a group anyway or to just stay home.
