Copyright Forbes
When I was living my life 2.5 seconds at a time (the time I had to run a play) in roaring stadiums and calling team locker rooms “home”, I was never really thinking about the end or what comes after. But, as it does for all professional athletes, the end eventually came for me. If you’ve faced a layoff, a career change, an unexpected loss, or simply feel unfulfilled, you know that moment when the clock runs out on your current life. It’s when you have to decide on your Act II, a reinvention that I prefer to call The Pivot. Make no mistake: A pivot means you are still in the game! It is a marked change in stance or direction—what you do when you are sacked by the defensive end, or when you’re laid off from a job you love. How do you get back up? How do you call a new play in seconds? The answer lies in mastering the art of being more resilient. Resilience isn’t just a trait you’re born with; it’s a muscle you can cultivate over time with intentional practice. Here is the playbook for finding your grit and emerging as a winner. The Mindset Shift: Controlling the Controllables The first lesson I learned after being cut from the Packers was that while circumstances may happen to you—a layoff, an injury—you are always in control of The Pivot. This is the essential mindset shift: resilience starts when you accept that even if the circumstances were out of your control, you are in control now. When you need to reinvent yourself, it’s tempting to sit in numbness, shock, or confusion. But you have to get back up, shake it off, and lead yourself back into the game. To do this, you need a clear mind, which means immediately hitting the reset button and managing your reactions. One of the most powerful tools in this mental game is Reframing. Positive thinking isn’t just self-help fluff; studies have shown that a positive mindset can help you fight stress and make you more resilient. Here’s the core focus of the mindset shift: You control five things: Attitude: Choose to stay optimistic, viewing setbacks as learning opportunities. Response: Like an elite athlete, master your reactions. Choose calm, deliberate action over frustration or panic. Effort and Preparation: Put energy into overcoming the challenge, breaking it down into smaller tasks. Perspective: Focus on the long-term goal rather than dwelling on the setback. Self-Talk: Practice positive, constructive internal dialogue, reminding yourself that change is an opportunity for growth. When you’re locked in fear, your thinking brain is in panic mode—I’ve been there; we all have been. By practicing this reframing, you shift your mindset from “Why me?” to “Try me.” The Lens of Daily Action: Falling in Love with Discipline A resilient mindset provides the foundation, but resilience is built through daily action and discipline. More than mere willpower, discipline is the unwavering commitment that separates the champions from the contenders. The journey of discipline is about falling in love with preparation, with the process of becoming the best version of yourself. In football, I didn’t always feel motivated to hit the gym at 5 a.m., and I didn’t love the two-a-day practices in the August heat, but discipline was the foundation of success. Discipline is consistent and dependable, making it far superior to motivation, which is inherently temporary and fluctuates based on external circumstances. If you are wondering how to be more resilient when starting over, focus on these daily disciplines: Consistency: Sustained effort over time is required to reach long-term goals. Discipline fills the gap on days when motivation wanes. The Grind: Discipline is keeping your Pivot in mind and postponing short-term pleasure for long-term gain. This means embracing the countless hours of work when nobody is watching. Routine: Build a routine of progress. Consistency is powerful in recovering from setbacks. This could involve scheduling regular practice sessions for a specific skill or dedicating time to stay up-to-date on industry trends. Discipline is the key to rhythm. It is what allows you, as a leader or an individual, to make calm decisions under pressure. Move! Embrace Failure as Feedback The Pivot is not passive. It is found in movement. The worst thing you can do when facing a personal speed bump is to get stagnant or paralyzed. (I call it becoming sediment.) This is where the concept of “fail faster” comes in. Fail faster means, bottom line, don’t be afraid to fail, because the more failures you get out of the way, the faster you'll get to the really great idea. Failure is simply feedback. Failing faster encourages experimentation and adaptability. Instead of obsessing over perfect plans, you prioritize action and movement. When plays didn’t execute flawlessly, my first response was always, “Where did we screw up, and how can we execute this better next time?” You have to hit the “next button,” which is the mental reset, the decision to move forward and create a new path. Just as a quarterback analyzes a play after a sack and adjusts for the next snap, you too can learn from your experiences and adapt your approach. You must accept that failure is inevitable and essential for growth. Your Value is Enduring A major insecurity I encounter when talking to people starting over is questioning their worth. If you are no longer the athlete, the soldier, the CEO, or the full-time caregiver, you might wonder: What is my value? Where is my relevance?. Resilience requires you to remember that your worth is not tied to trophies, medals, titles, or paychecks. Those accolades can be fleeting. People forget the sports hero or the superstar salesperson not too long after they change position or leave. Instead, you must focus on your intrinsic value—the enduring principles, qualities, and actions that define you. Your value—your grit, discipline, leadership, and commitment—is franchisable. You didn’t lose those skills you developed over countless hours; you just get to use them in a whole new way. All the hours you put in—from memorizing playbooks to overcoming challenges—those skills have value. If you are facing a Pivot, you have the ability to reflect quickly and hit the reset button fast. You are not defined by your setbacks, what others label “failures,” or any of that. Instead, you are defined by your choices, your grit, and your determination.
