Copyright Essence
While Ashley and Femi attended Morehouse and Spelman around the same time (2005 to 2009 for him, 2006 to 2010 for her), they never actually crossed paths in Atlanta. They ran in similar circles, but those relationships wouldn’t connect them until 2019. Femi first laid eyes upon his future bride, ironically, while she was celebrating another bride in her own showstopping gown by Lace & Beads. “I was scrolling through a few Instagram Stories of another SpelHouse wedding in Cape Town when I saw this beautiful woman in an incredible dress. The light was hitting her just right, and that smile stopped me in my tracks,” Femi says. “I said to myself, ‘Who is this?’ From there, I went down a rabbit hole trying to find her page, and honestly, I’ve been captivated ever since.” He’s not kidding. Femi describes his effort to catch her eye as “consistent.” He liked five years’ worth of Instagram photos, which he has no shame about, and started leaving heart-eye emojis on her Stories. She initially didn’t catch what he was throwing. “I am oblivious to flirting,” she admits, believing he was another friend from the SpelHouse network she’d crossed paths with. “Utterly and completely. It wasn’t until after a few months of DMing that the heart eyes started and I was like, wait, am I reading too much into this?” She continues, “Of course, I went to the group chat with screenshots to see if I was tripping. During a virtual girls’ night on Cinco de Mayo in 2020, Sister Circle found out we had been chatting in DMs for months, and they said, ‘Girl, wake up, this boy likes you!’ So we crafted a plan to get out of DMs and into text.” In May 2020, they went on their first date, smack dab in the beginning of the COVID pandemic, meeting up at the Palisades Interstate Park in New Jersey. “A short hike, some music, a little champagne, and good conversation,” he says of the day. “Just pure energy and ease.” It went well, because after that first outing, they went on a date every week for two months straight. They were locked in. “There was just a peace I felt with her,” Femi notes. “Like I didn’t have to perform or pretend. She made it easy to be myself, and that kind of comfort is rare.” Part of what solidified their connection was being there for one another in moments of grief. Even before their first date, she learned that he had lost a close friend, and she reached out in a thoughtful, sincere way. “That really stuck with me,” he says. And when her father passed from complications due to COVID, he returned that same sincere care. For Ashley, the loss of her dad while she was getting to know Femi was exceptionally difficult for the obvious reasons, but also because he’d always been a part of important decisions she made. What is a more important decision than choosing the right life partner? “His opinion was paramount and I wanted to ensure he felt good about my choices and supported whatever partner I ended up with,” she says. To her surprise, her late father would indeed let her know how he felt about Femi. Rain is how Ashley feels her father’s presence. It was raining during their last phone conversation right before he took his last breath. It began raining after she touched his casket graveside during his burial. And it rained the day she realized Femi was the one for her. “We were on FaceTime from around 10:30 pm until about 4:30 am, just like in person, constantly laughing and smiling, asking questions, great conversation,” she recalls. “Femi said something that felt good and sat in my spirit. Not sure why it was different from any of the other great things he said over the last few hours, but it made me pause. I looked at my phone, and the time was exactly 4:21, and it started raining audibly. Her father, whom she refers to as “Big Silv,” passed on April 21st. 4/21. “It was already raining in New Jersey where Femi was and it wasn’t supposed to rain near me in the city. At that moment I knew — Femi is the one, Big Silv just confirmed it,” she says. Femi decided to integrate water into the special moment when he proposed to Ashley. On October 23, 2023, he popped the question at the Renault Winery in South Jersey. “A place surrounded by water because I knew how much that symbolism meant to her,” he shares. “Ashley and her dad shared a deep spiritual connection through water, so I wanted that element to be part of the moment.” They were enjoying a wine tour when the folks at Renault, who were in on the plan, asked if they would take part in a promotional photo shoot for a free bottle of wine. She was down. And so was he — on one knee that is. “By the time Femi started professing his love and got down on one knee, I was completely overwhelmed and could not believe what was happening,” she says. “He put the ring on my finger, and I heard folks cheering! I assumed it was other guests from the winery. It wasn’t. “Family and friends were secretly watching from a distance,” he says. A nice touch. “I was overcome with emotion all over again, realizing that some of the people I love most in the world came to celebrate our love with us,” she says. “Femi and I talked about getting engaged, and I knew he was a private person, so despite my extensive circle, I knew our engagement was going to be just us, and I was okay with that. He pulled off the most incredible surprise. He kept our moment intimate but also thoughtfully included our family, and I am so blessed.” The couple celebrated their love with those same people and many more, holding two celebrations: a traditional Nigerian wedding on Valentine’s Day 2025 (she’s Urhobo, he’s Yoruba), and a white wedding the very next day, both taking place at the dreamy Crystal Plaza in Livingston, New Jersey. The festivities were brought to life by Ashley’s company, BlackOp Productions. Both parties speak fondly about the first look at one another and the beauty of seeing people they care so much about take part in honoring their journey. It was a dream come true. “We had live drummers, blessings from our elders, and a joy that felt so much larger than us,” says Femi. “The love in that room was electric. A perfect blend of faith, culture, and community.”
