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Become A Member.Get The Paper. Wednesday, November 5, 2025 Judgment cloudy with a high chance of regret America’s Finest News Source Entertainment The Onion Store Entertainment The Onion Store Wednesday, November 5, 2025 Judgment cloudy with a high chance of regret Become A Member Entertainment The Onion Store Free Your Wallet. Shop The Onion Store. Share on Facebook Share on Bluesky Share on X Share on LinkedIn Share on SMS Email this Page Bob Qualley Share on Facebook Share on X Share on Bluesky Share on LinkedIn Share on SMS Email this Page Published: November 5, 2025 Bob Qualley, 72, learned the hard way the dangers of juggling snakes. Advertising Advertising Cuomo Announces Plan To Govern New York City As Independent Continued on next page Like A Vitamin You Ingest With Your Eyes. Get The Onion Newsletter. "*" indicates required fields This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. Subscribe For All the Latest Headlines* By subscribing to our newsletter you have read, understood and agree to the terms of our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use Explore Tags Former Print Exclusive Vol 61: Issue 33 Related Coverage Uber Driver Seemingly Watching ‘Titanic’ For First Time Oh, So They Have MONEY-Money Grandma Recalls Wild Teenage Year Before She Met Grandpa Advertising Trending Uber Driver Seemingly Watching ‘Titanic’ For First Time White House Maid Shrieks After Spotting Melania On Ceiling Studios Enter Bidding War Over Napkin Stephen King Wrote ‘Ghoul’ On Recent News Trump Imposes 25% Tariff On Chinese-Made Trump Products Uber Driver Seemingly Watching ‘Titanic’ For First Time Oh, So They Have MONEY-Money Haul Of Fame Cuomo Announces Plan To Govern New York City As Independent Join The Millions Of Others Who Entered In Their Credit Card Number. Become An Onion Member Today Advertising In Other News Rubenesque Woman Has Picassoesque Face Family Revels In Height Difference Between Mother And Tall Son Family Impressed By Extra Effort Father Putting In To Hide Drinking Local Pre-Teen Violates Best Friend's Menstruation Non-Disclosure Agreement Your Horoscope — Today’s Birthday (October 23 to November 21): Look, if you don’t choose your gang this week, the other inmates will just choose one for you. Read Your Horoscope Subscribe for all the latest Headlines "*" indicates required fields Get All The Latest Headlines By Email, Once A Day* By subscribing to our newsletter you have read, understood and agree to the terms of our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use Entertainment Become a Member The Onion Store Front Page Archive Privacy Policy Cookie Policy Terms of Use Print Membership Terms
