Hola, mates! Welcome to the M/Y Bravado, Captain Sandy’s superyacht out of Barcelona. Sandy feels right at home in these waters, having lived in Barcelona for four years 100 years ago. She absorbed so much of the local color that not a day into being back in Spain, she’s already calling soccer “fútbol.” And that’s not even the craziest thing that happens in the first five minutes of this episode. It looks as though Nathan, this season’s bosun and last season’s charmer-in-chief, has gotten someone pregnant. Is it Gael, the deckhand with whom he had a whirlwind affair last season? Is it Kizzi, a new stew hellbent on kissing every person onboard (please, not this again)? Is it a third, mysterious woman?
Pretty much the first thing we see is a pregnant belly and a title card taking us to nine months earlier, which frames this whole season as a nautical mystery centering on Nathan. The question, beyond who the hell is pregnant, is: Can Nathan hold this show together? If the first charter of the season is any indication, it’s not looking great. Nathan, like his new deckhand, Tessa, isn’t even there for the first day of work. The two of them caught food poisoning and had to hang back at the hotel, arriving on the Bravado only two hours before the first guests. That mishap helps account for the fact that throughout the charter, the deck crew is a complete disaster.
But before we can get to that, let’s go through CVs and get to know the crew. Thank God in heaven, we have Aesha Scott back as chief stew. She is perky as ever and newly engaged after her boyfriend, Scott (I hope he takes her last name), was inspired by Captain Sandy to finally pop the question. Also returning is French deckhand Max, fresh from a soul-searching trip to Bali, where he saw some waterfalls, wrote in a journal, found hypnosis, and decided maybe working is not so bad after all. “New Max, Mentally Engaged Deckhand” is how the production frames his comeback. He is so ready to redeem himself that, when Sandy puts him in charge of turning around the boat while Nathan is out with a bad stomach, he self-proclaims as the deck’s Robespierre, a gesture at odds with what Robespierre was actually about. There’s a lot of talk about a guillotine and some barking orders around, which gives Sandy a good second impression — though ultimately, she warns Nathan to wait three or so charters before naming a lead deckhand. Onto the new crew:
Josh (Chef)
This British chef has more than ten years’ experience in Michelin-starred kitchens, which is music to Sandy’s ears after a season of ups and downs with the self-taught Johnathan in Greece. How to describe Josh? He tells stories of being physically and mentally abused by fancy chefs in important kitchens, which were “too robotic” for him. He immediately starts hitting on Kizzi, one of the stews. He is an expressive artist of many mediums, including music and “dressing like a rockstar,” which is the most compelling artistry. He trained with a clown in Nicaragua. He looks like a pirate, and everything that comes out of his mouth sounds made up. I think I like him?
V (Third Stew)
What could be this woman’s full name? (This information is easily discoverable, but it’s important to respect the way a person wants to be known and even more important to respect a woman’s right to mystery.) V is Cuban, from Florida, and it’s her first time working on a superyacht. Between Bri’s inexperience last season and Solène’s reign of chaos on the flagship’s St. David, all of our nerves are still recovering from dealing with green stews. But V quickly shows herself to be attentive and game. In the laundry room, where she was placed by a slightly traumatized Aesha, we see her writing sticky notes and placing them on the washing machines without having to be prompted — something that simply never occurred to Bri. I have a good feeling about her, even if she does ask Aesha whether it’s “okay” to do lunch service “in socks.”
Kizzi (Second Stew)
Kizzi has enough experience as a stew to be Aesha’s second, and much to our chief stew’s relief, she loves to do table decorations. Kizzi is an intractable flirt, a trait that is very popular with the boys, and, from the looks of the preview at the end of the episode, also with the girls. Of boys she says simply, “They tend to like me,” before texting a Tommy three red hearts. I’m still scarred by Solène, but at least Kizzi seems to be good at her job. The thing that worries me the most, actually, is the possibility of her having a slight psychopathic strain. V tells her and Aesha the sad story of how her late boyfriend drowned, and being in proximity to intense emotion makes Kizzi laugh nervously. She assures V that she doesn’t think it’s funny, it’s just a reflex. “You’re just British,” Aesha adds. Fair enough, but then later she tells us that the owner of the private boat she worked on also died, and “it was awesome” because they didn’t have to work. Is she a murderer?
Christian (Deckhand)
We don’t get a lot from new deckie Christian in this episode, apart from the fact that he’s Colombian and a former charter pilot whose business took a hit during the pandemic years. I am sad that there are no Brazilians aboard the Bravado after two seasons of Brazilian supremacy in the Below Deck universe, but I am heartened by the presence of two Latinos in the team. Christian is annoyed by Max’s temporary tyranny and overall seems … normal. It’s unlikely this impression will survive the whole season, but we’ll see. He kind of looks like Clark Kent minus the glasses.
Tessa (Deckhand)
Last but not least, we have Tessa, who also contracted food poisoning and will arrive a day late. You can’t help but wonder what was in the food of whatever hotel Bravo put these people in before the beginning of the season. Tessa has experience working on ginormous boats and arrives with the impression that working on the Bravado will “be easy,” a sweet illusion that is almost immediately shattered.
What does everyone think goes through the offseason crew’s minds as they disembark the vessel to let the reality-show freaks in? A sense of fulfillment? Relief? The buoyancy of the knowledge that they don’t have to do their hard jobs in front of a camera crew that hopes every minute that some disaster might strike? The swap having been done, and all crew finally aboard, the first charter guests arrive.
This group of people is led by one Carl, a “serial entrepreneur renowned in the world of web start-ups.” These are words fit to be read on iPads, which the crew now has in lieu of printed preference sheets (yay, environment). Of course the first thing Carl wants is a “bitcoin extravaganza”–themed dinner, to which Aesha inexplicably adds “chocolate fantasy/factory.” I don’t know, she had to do something. How can you theme a dinner after a … currency, if that’s what it even is? Aesha knows a thing or two about Bitcoin, despite finding it a boring topic of conversation — her fiancé, Scott, is into crypto. Annoying, but if it means she’s getting a big rock on her finger and a nice house, I’m happy for her.
When these people arrive at the Bravado, they are immediately like, “It’s not the best yacht I’ve ever seen, but it’s good.” They ask how “many” horsepower the Jet Skis have. The twin-bed rooms, to them, are like the rooms in Hostel. One of them is looking to buy a boat with a rough budget of $30 million. Carl does crypto-themed livestreams from his room. There must be something spiritually (and probably morally) wrong with them, but so far, they’re nice, polite guests. They eat the hell out of the delicious-looking lunch that Josh has prepared, which includes a wide array of options, from sourdough ciabatta rolls to lamb chops, baba ghanoush, and oysters.
The interior department kicks into smooth gear as the Bravado sails on; it’s the deck team that quickly falls apart. Perhaps because Nathan didn’t have much time to get to know his team or devise a plan for their first charter, he struggles to communicate effectively with his crew. Sandy is confident undocking because she knows the marina “like the back of [her] hand” and trusts Nathan to do a good job. The boat gets out all right, albeit with a platform still sticking out that Tessa couldn’t figure out how to retract. She calls the engineer over the radio while Nathan is feeding Sandy the distances to port, which is a big no-no; there’s supposed to be radio silence as they undock. Christian carries a huge length of line around with no idea of where to put it.
The chaos of the undocking puts Nathan on edge, and he doesn’t take the time to gather his team and regroup. V summarized her plan for stewing on a superyacht in a way that’s also fitting for Nathan’s leadership style: “wing it.” As the guests are having lunch, he tells his crew that he expects the water toys to be out in 45 minutes, but doesn’t give them directions on how to pull them out — or at least, how to do it efficiently. He is so hands-off that Tessa stands around scratching her head and saying, “He’s not teaching us anything.” He seems to expect his deckhands to just intuitively know how to do things, though it’s a new boat for all of them. Meanwhile, Max, who has no management experience, is confident that his guillotine-forward management style is superior.
Nathan has to wait for the Nautibouys to be set up before lowering the Jet Skis into the water, and though he urges his crew to work faster, he doesn’t offer them pointers or ask what’s holding them back. By the time they’ve figured it out, it’s been one hour and 30 minutes, and the guests are watching amusedly. Sandy tells Nathan they’ll have to be better next time, but that he doesn’t have to apologize since they’re all still learning. That patience and leniency won’t last long. It was trouble enough getting the water toys in the water; keeping them there and getting them out proves to be even worse. The deck crew struggles with the “whips,” which are the lines that keep stuff attached to the boat, while Nathan shouts unclear instructions at them from the tender. Then one of the Jet Skis starts floating away because, by his own admission, Christian didn’t tie it properly. Wanting to save the day, Max jumps in the water after it while Nathan already has it hooked up to the tender, so he’s ordered to swim back.
At least the deck crew’s shenanigans are a source of constant amusement to the guests, but Nathan and Sandy are getting pissed. Nathan is so overwhelmed by the chaos that he vents to the chief officer as they set up the rig to lower the Jet-Ski. Sandy comes by to help and warns Nathan to watch the lights as he controls the remote; he knocks them out almost immediately. By the time the job is finally done, Sandy wants to talk. There is going to be a lot for Nathan to figure out; he’s going to have to be way more proactive and focused. That might prove a challenge, as the preview shows us that Gael — with whom he left the Mustique last season and traveled around for months — is bound to make an appearance at some point. Of all the teasers, the Bachelor-style episode with the guy who comes with a matchmaking expert and six potential suitors is the one I’m looking forward to the most and the least.