Copyright TODAY
While we’re guaranteed 24 hours every day, sometimes it can seem like you’re working with scraps, a few minutes to read an email, 10 to check in with your family, 23 to make dinner. The advice is usually the same — make time for yourself — with little explanation as to how to do so. When Alicia Keys couldn’t figure out how to make the time, she simply took it. The 17-time Grammy Award winner spoke at the Making Space: Wellness Day with Hoda Kotb on Oct. 21, 2025. The event was part of TODAY Fan Fest, six days of programming hosted by TODAY anchors and featuring special guests. In an intimate event space at a Brooklyn hotel, Keys revealed to Hoda and the audience how she mastered taking time for herself without guilt. “It’s a woman thing,” Keys said, adding that women are always giving and nurturing, never expecting much in return. Keys became determined to break that pattern. She recalled a moment at 13 years old when she heard her grandmother say, “I’m done.” Keys’ grandfather had died, and suddenly Keys’ grandmother, mourning her husband, was able to focus on her own goals, desires and health. Keys decided she wasn’t going to wait to do those things until she found herself alone in old age. “I think that was a big lesson,” said Keys. “Creating time, taking time, making time, making space, and learning what that looks like, and figuring it out.” So, after getting some advice from a friend, Keys set out to design her life and encouraged those attending the event to do the same. “Does that look like maybe Friday is a day that you don’t want to have any phone calls and meetings, like you actually just want to take the time to have a peaceful Friday?” she said. “Maybe you want to do things with your family ... with yourself, and then that’s something that you’ve chosen to do. Whatever it is, you are designing what feels good for you and taking those moments.” Whether it’s once a month, once a week or once a day, Keys said to claim time for yourself and insist that you deserve it. Admittedly, she added, it might take some getting used to. Keys found she was able to make the most of the time she set aside for herself after giving birth to her second son, Genesis. A friend suggested she go on a meditation retreat and Keys couldn’t fathom leaving her baby and other son for four days. “I can’t find a way,” Keys recalled thinking at the time. In response, her friend asked about the last time she did something for herself. Keys couldn’t remember. At the retreat, Keys learned to meditate, something she still does each morning. She has found that she can take time to “take care of (her) soul” around 5:30 a.m. before getting her son up for early morning sports practice. She begins by finding silence. “I really do like silence in the morning,” said Keys. I love some type of tuning-in, some type of listening, some type of deep breathing.” Some of her meditations are three minutes, while others last for 20. Though her sweet spot, she said, is 11 minutes. Regardless of the duration, Keys will sit on her own, breathe in for 5 seconds, hold her breath for 5 seconds and exhale for 5 seconds. Then, she decides on her highest vision of the day. "And that could be I’m asking for grace, I’m asking for patience," or, she says, she'll ask that a project she's working on finds success. Next, Keys makes an affirmation for the day. “I love especially creating affirmations when I’m feeling … like I’m in a (slump) or kind of feeling anxious or worried about something. I will say, ‘I am safe,’ and ‘I’m protected.’” she said. Sometimes Keys will light a candle and write down her stream of consciousness in three pages of her journal. “It always feels like I released a lot,” she added. Resist the guilt, Keys reminded the room, because it doesn’t serve anyone. Taking time helps us all, she said. “We can actually fill our souls and our spirits and be replenished and then come back into our lives and feel, you know, capable.”
