By Neil Shaw

Copyright walesonline

A 50-year-old woman says she finally found the secret to weight loss – and dropped 70lbs – after a lifetime of trying to follow ‘toxic diet culture’. Naomi Holbrook says she had always blamed herself for being overweight, thinking she just needed to restrict food, but it led to a cycle of deprivation and guilt. Naomi, from Hove, East Sussex, said: “I just thought I loved food and couldn’t stop myself eating the things I loved but looking back I started secretly eating and often binge eating from as young as eight years of age.” When Naomi lost her mum as a teenager, it fuelled disordered and emotional eating. She thought about food and her body constantly, with a constant loop of guilt and restriction. The food noise continued well into her thirties, and she found herself feeling self-conscious in front of friends. “My weight and body had always played a significant role in my life,” Naomi said. “It literally felt like the elephant in the room for most of my life, and I was embarrassed when I met up with friends that I hadn’t seen for a long time, having gained weight each time. “I battled with food noise for over 30 years; it felt like every moment of the day I was thinking about food and what I could eat next, what I shouldn’t eat next, what I needed to restrict when the guilt set in then when I had restricted, what and how much food I could get my hands on. “They were my constant thoughts every single day that never left me alone for 30 years.” Naomi loathed her own body and blamed herself for her weight gain, believing that it was due to a lack of self-control that her other friends didn’t seem to suffer from. “I felt so much shame and embarrassment that I couldn’t seem to control my weight like so many of my slim friends clearly could,” she said. “It impacted social occasions, I often avoided events at the last minute because I felt so self conscious and didn’t like how I looked and how I felt. It impacted my intimate relationships and most of all it impacted the relationship with myself. I wore a good mask but underneath there was so much self loathing and anxiety around food and my body.” Turning 39 was a pivotal moment for Naomi. She was single and childfree, in a corporate career that was draining the life out of her. Eventually, she decided that something needed to change. “My lifestyle resembled Bridget Jones; I was the life and soul of the party with my friends in public, but crying into a tub of ice cream and a bottle of Pinot in private,” Naomi said. “I saw photos of me a few days after my 39th birthday, and the truth is I didn’t recognise or like what I saw in the photos and I hadn’t for the best part of my life. I had hated having my photo taken all my life, hid behind others when a camera came out, placed my hands awkwardly to try to conceal the shame I felt in my body and I made a vow to myself there and then ‘I am not going to be fat at forty’.” Having dieted for over 30 years and realising nothing had worked long term, Naomi realised she needed a new approach. She was sick and tired of weight loss and diets being at the centre of her life. “I was sick of counting calories, weighing portions and having such a disordered relationship with food and myself so I started doing things differently,” she said. “On the journey I created my own proven SMART formula; sleep, mindful nutrition, activity, rest and recovery and time for self which enabled me to start to create small, simple, sustainable lifestyle changes instead of all the restrictive and arbitrary rules I had followed before. “Along the way, I only realised as I started to do the work on healing my own relationship with food in my 40s that I had been numbing my emotions since childhood with comfort food.” Naomi started small. When she first started she was battling chronic pain and had low energy because of the extra weight she was carrying. She decided to start to move her body for joy rather than punish it with workouts. “I started connecting with myself in a deeper way and setting boundaries, with myself and others,” she explains. “I realised how much impact this had been having for years; every time I avoided hurting someone else’s feelings by not saying ‘no’ to food I didn’t want I was actually saying no to me. “The biggest part wasn’t actually the diet or exercise: it was the unlearning of years of toxic diet culture and healing my relationship with food to no longer be controlled by it. “I needed to reprogram my brain and reshape my identity so I no longer saw myself as a woman who struggled with her weight or battled to resist food or alcohol.” Naomi’s new approach worked wonders. She went from a size 20 and 18 stone to a size 12 and 12 stone, losing 70lbs in the process. But it wasn’t just the physical shedding of weight loss that helped Naomi feel happier in her own skin. She had finally found a way to be free from food noise. “At 50, I finally feel free and at peace,” she said. “I’m free from food noise, from food controlling me and my thoughts, free in my body, and in spite of menopause feeling confident and happy in my own skin. I feel younger than I did in my 30s physically, mentally and emotionally. I have confidence and belief that no diet ever gave me.” Naomi decided to change course, and from the career that was draining her, decided to retrain as a weight loss coach to help other woman achieve similar results. “Through creating my own SMART Formula I have reversed a multitude of chronic health conditions I had since childhood, including asthma, chronic back pain from degenerative disc disease and a spinal fusion, depression, anxiety and panic attacks,” she said. “Having lost my mum as a teenager, helping other women became a huge driving force and over the years my work has transformed whole families, not just the women I work directly with.” Naomi wants other women to know that if they are overweight, they need to reframe their thinking and realise that their weight is not the problem. “I have discovered through my personal journey of 40 years and professionally having helped thousands of women now that weight gain is the symptom of other factors,” she said “This includes people pleasing, lack of boundaries, addiction to ultra-processed foods and hormonal shifts, which is why ‘eat less, move more’ is the most damaging and outdated advice a woman can be given. Happiness isn’t found in weight loss, because letting go of the metaphorical weight as much as the literal weight is just as important. “I wrote my book ‘Your Weight is Not The Problem’ to help other women go on a similar journey to have a healthier relationship with food and with themselves.” Follow Naomi on Instagram at Naomi Holbrook: The Unconventional Weightloss Coach (@naomiholbrookcoach)