By Eleanor Noyce

Copyright metro

The idea of the Alpha Male has resurfaced in the latest season of MAFS (Picture: E4)

Standing at the altar, 32-year-old Rebecca looks her future husband up and down.

As is the very concept of Married At First Sight UK, she’s only met 36-year-old Bailey moments before – and they’re both about to take vows they hope will be lifelong.

But behind the shiny façade of wedding flowers and emotional family members watching from the pews, there’s a slightly panicked look on the bride’s face.

Fundamentally, Rebecca is looking for one thing, and one thing only: an Alpha, which she mentions countless times.

‘I’m attracted to the Alpha Male. I won’t settle for anything less,’ Rebecca, an aesthetics nurse and clinic owner, tells the Channel 4 producers.

From the beginning, she’s unsure that her match, a sales manager from St Albans, fully fits that bill, stating firmly to the camera behind the scenes: ‘I don’t think he’s an Alpha.’

Afterwards, she leaves the head table at the wedding breakfast to speak to his friends, voicing her concerns that, firstly, he isn’t 6”4 and, secondly, that he doesn’t seem to go to the gym as much as he says he does.

Rebecca says she’s ‘attracted to the Alpha Male’ (Picture: E4)

Earlier this year, Metro predicted that 2025 would be the year of the Alpha Male – taking into account Donald Trump’s ascension to the White House for the second time, Mark Zuckerberg’s endorsement of ‘masculine energy’ in corporate culture on Joe Rogan’s podcast, and the continued prevalence of Andrew Tate’s ideology, whom Nigel Farage previously said was ‘an important voice for men.’

Now, this MAFS plot point has proven that it’s not just men who are romanticising the idea of the Alpha Male – some women are now striving to date them, too.

But where has the Alpha Male trope come from? And why are some women so into it?

Why are some women so into Alpha Males?

It’s not just Rebecca who is firmly committed to settling down with an Alpha Male. Over on TikTok, countless women have confessed their attraction to men channelling this aura.

‘Alpha masculinity is so hot. Am I allowed to say that?’ @rachelcuello shares in one video.

‘The Alpha masculine male has that protector mindset, provider mindset. He values femininity and he desires to protect and preserve femininity.’

She adds that she doesn’t ‘give a s*** about toxic masculinity,’ as a concept, saying that ‘if you’re a toxic man, I just think you’re a bad person.’

Meanwhile, content creator @chiaraking previously described her dating preferences as the following: ‘I like my man obsessed, Alpha Male, no social media, gym lover, overprotective, well-mannered, emotionally mature, princess treatments and keeps his eyes solely on me.’

@chiaraking That’s abit of me. ♬ original sound – .

On the official MAFS website, Rebecca is described as a ‘girl boss’ who ‘believes she can achieve anything she sets her mind to.’ Being both ‘fiery and independent,’ she’s looking for ‘a man who can take control and allow her to be her true self.’

While we don’t know anything about the exact definition Rebecca attaches to the word Alpha, we do know that, these days, the term has much more murky, politically-charged connotations.

So, is she looking for someone who can match her own strength? Or would she accept her personality and career goals potentially being subdued by someone with said ability to take ‘control’? It’s hard not to see the glaring contradictions.

@rachelcuello Alpha masculinity… 🥵 #masculinity #femininity #feminine #masculine #dating #men #women #nyc #fyp ♬ original sound – Rachel Cuello

As John Mercer, a professor of gender and sexuality at Birmingham City University, tells Metro, the term Alpha Male originated in the 20th century, used to describe the interactions between groups of animals and how they would operate.

‘It suggests that male animals assert themselves through physical aggression to maintain their authority,’ John explains.

‘It’s an idea that has been mostly discredited in the study of animals, but the term has gained an afterlife in media and public debate as a way of summoning up the idea of a “real” man who is physically dominant, in charge of situations, sexually potent and a (questionable) role model often for younger men who might be described as or think of themselves as subordinate.’

As John adds, masculinity is always ‘connected to ideas of power,’ but in his view, the idea of an Alpha is a ‘problematic and simplistic term’ that ‘tries to capture a set of complicated ideas about masculinity and men in one word.’ He also believes that it’s intrinsically connected to the political state of the world.

Rebecca was matched with Bailey, a sales manager from St Albans (Picture: E4)

‘All the same, it’s captured the imagination of many younger men and women, I think in part because it’s simple and that simplicity evacuates the possibility of any critique,’ he says, suggesting that it’s also a ‘reaction against more liberal and progressive ideas about gender fluidity and masculine sensitivity.’

‘There’s a sense in which, as politics at a national and international level lurches to the right, so ideas that might seem very outdated and regressive make a return.’

For John, the return of the Alpha has no place in the 21st century – and it epitomises the very idea of something called ‘cruel optimism,’ which, as he explains, happens when ‘people invest in or romanticise ideas that are in fact the very opposite of the things that will make them happy.’

‘A woman in 2025 dreaming of an Alpha for me, at least, is an almost perfect example of that,’ he says.

‘One wonders if the realities of having an Alpha Male husband and what that would mean is really what any modern woman would honestly want. It’s a case of be careful what you wish for.’

John adds that people who are attracted to the idea of an Alpha Male will be drawn to the ‘prospect of a protector.’

He adds: ‘Part of the way that heterosexuality has been constructed, at least since the 19th century, is on those gendered lines of male stoicism and the idea of an enfeebled femininity that has to be “protected.”‘

Essentially, this preference plays into old-fashioned, outdated and heteronormative stereotypes that project men as all-powerful beings, and women as, ultimately, second best. And, in John’s opinion, the idea of an Alpha also connotes a sense of ‘dominance and aggression.’

Claire Renier, relationship expert at dating app happn, further says that for some women, the appeal might lie in ‘appealing attributes like protectiveness, a sense of security, and confidence.’ However, she urges that it’s important to ‘tread carefully’ when searching for an Alpha partner.

‘While there may be elements such as a sense of security that should be a hallmark of all healthy relationships, it’s crucial to make sure that this doesn’t become a justification for controlling, aggressive or dismissive behaviour – both in terms of whether it’s fine for your partner to act this way, and for you to accept it,’ she tells Metro.

‘If you think an Alpha Male is what you’re looking for, it’s key to realise the differences between a confident and emotionally intelligent partner who will respect and care for you, and a toxic one who is controlling and emotionally unavailable.’

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