“I Never Saw Her Again”: Single Men Are Recalling The Super “Secret” Reasons Why They Didn’t Go On A Second Date With A Woman
“She said she needed to stop at the drug store to pick up something … We walked to the pharmacy, where she picked up…”
While going on a first date with someone can make people say or do weird things because of nerves, which is completely normal, sometimes people take things to a whole other level that will prohibit another date from happening. So when we asked the BuzzFeed Community, “Single men, what made you definitely NOT want a second date with a woman you went out with?” so many of them shared their personal experiences. Here’s what they said below:
1. “I went on a date with a woman about 35 years ago. We were having dinner, and during the meal, she inquired about my career path. She so bluntly followed it up by saying she needed to marry someone who could keep her in the lifestyle she had grown up in. I answered her question, said, ‘I’m not sure if my career path is best suited for you,’ paid for the meal, and left her at the restaurant. Figured she had enough money with her lifestyle to be able to get home on her own.”
2. “We had met at a club and hit it off really well, and decided to go on a movie date the following weekend. We’d gone to see a comedy, but she didn’t find any of it funny (disappointing, but not an outright deal-breaker). After the film, we spent some time talking, whereupon she started going on about how three of her cousins were involved in organized crime. She’d said that while she was easygoing, people who messed with her were going to have a problem (due to said gangster cousins). I called her the next day and told her in the nicest, gentlest way possible that I wasn’t feeling it and didn’t want to waste her time. She’d responded by saying, ‘Was it something I said?’ To which I couldn’t help but say, ‘It’s not you, it’s me.'”
—Anonymous 52, Quebec
3. “We met through work and seemed to click, so I suggested lunch. It went fine, good conversation. Walking back to our building, she said she needed to stop at the drug store to pick up something, so she started to say goodbye. I said, ‘No problem, I can stop with you.’ We walked to the pharmacy, where she picked up a prescription for her vaginal infection. I was genuinely confused: Was she advertising ‘no sex’ with me, or that she was having sex with others, or what? Like, I’d never have a woman stop in with me when I pick up jock itch cream.”
4. “I was newly divorced and met a woman while at a dog park with my dogs. We hit it off and stayed much longer at the dog park than anticipated, just talking and getting to know each other. Near the end, she asked if I’d like to go to dinner with her later that night. I agreed. I show up to dinner, and she was already there and almost immediately hands me a CD of all her favorite songs that she had burned for me between the dog park and dinner. Weird, but ok. She then starts talking about marriage and how she needs to have children ASAP. At this point, I’m starting to think she’s not the one.”
“We finish dinner, and I’m thinking the date is over. She asks me if I’m going to walk her to her car. I say sure. We get to her car, and she asks me if I want to go to her place, and I said I really needed to get home to my dogs. She asked if I was going to kiss her, and she just gave me a full-on French kiss and said she can’t wait to see me again. I never called her back. She went on to get artificially inseminated and had her kid. Still no husband.”
—Anonymous, 53, Redmond, WA
5. “We went to a bar. As we were leaving, she drunkenly knocked over a glass of wine on the ground (patio/fire pit area). I tell her, and she keeps walking (belligerently). I go inside, tell the bartender, apologize to the drink owner (inside getting her friend one), and pay for it. She stands outside yelling about how I shouldn’t do that. It was the last date. I won’t tolerate that kind of embarrassment (her attitude, not the drunken stumble).”
6. “I was asked out by a woman I met several years prior. We were supposed to go on a hike. She decided to invite me over instead. When I got there, she told me her son, whom she lived with, didn’t feel safe for her to be in the woods alone with me but felt safe to be alone with her at his house. She also told me she makes all decisions about whom she should date and where she goes on a date. While there, her 30-year-old son came in with what seemed to be an underage girl and introduced her as his girlfriend. I stayed for another five minutes and decided to leave. I approached his room with the door wide open and said It was nice to meet you. His girlfriend was lying next to an AK-47 rifle and many other guns. I asked him if the rifle was real, and he said absolutely yes. I high-tailed out there as fast as I could. I blocked and deleted her number as soon as I got in my car. That was the last time I saw her.”
—Anonymous
7. “We had some flirty banter over drinks. She even accepted my invitation to come back to mine, and then she proceeded to go through all my cabinets and drawers. Her mother had told her something about how you can tell if a man is hiding things by how he keeps his cabinets. I’m not really sure what the theory was, but she literally went kitchen cabinet by kitchen cabinet, seeing what was in them. I was too in shock to say anything. Plus, I had nothing to hide and sort of wanted to see if she’d be brazen enough to open every single one. She was. I told her it was getting late, and I called her a cab.”
8. “I went out with a woman who spent the entire dinner talking on the phone. This was right when the first cellphone came out. She wanted all the people in the restaurant to see that she had this phone. After dinner, as we were walking out to the car, she told me how much fun she had and how interesting I was, even though we barely spoke. We got in the car, and within two minutes, she was completely naked and began trying to unzip my pants, so she could go to town. We were in the middle of a busy parking lot with people walking around. She said that this excited her. Then all of a sudden her phone rang and she sat right up, and started a five-minute conversation with someone, and she bragged to this person that she was naked in this parking lot and was going to work on me, and she hoped people would see.”
“After this call, I decided to end the date, and she was clearly angry. I took her home and never saw her again.”
—cheesysinger262
9. “First date, so I picked a nice restaurant with lots of options. She looked at the menu and said, ‘I don’t like this stuff, can we go get pizza?’ So, okay, pizza’s cool, who doesn’t like pizza? As we walked down the block, she told me she didn’t eat any vegetables ever. Only pizza and chicken fingers. Red flag number one. Over our slices of pizza, she proceeded to tell me all about her job cleaning up hospital surgical rooms post-surgery… in all its gory detail. That was enough for me. No second date necessary, thanks.”
10. “She was a hot coworker who was always flirting with me and every other man. We went out for drinks after work with her and another woman coworker who — it turns out — is her sister-in-law! She was all over me, cooing and batting her eyes, saying very suggestive things. When we all walked out together, she was clinging to me, holding my hand. Then it came out that she was married. Married!! Gross. I was horrified because I work with the guy. Felt bad for him; she is not a good wife.”
—Anonymous
11. “I was set up with a friend’s sister in college. She was a knockout, and I felt pretty lucky to be going out with her. While waiting for the movie to start, she pointed out an interracial couple (Black/white) in front of us. She asked me, ‘What did I think about ‘that?” (motioning towards the couple). Partially shocked/confused by the question, I answered, ‘I mean, I don’t have a problem with it. My mother is Mexican and my dad is white,’ She said, ‘Oh, well that’s different!’ But I didn’t really believe her. I don’t really remember what else we talked about that night. As a California boy going to college in the South, it was one of my first experiences witnessing that type of direct racism and backward beliefs. We didn’t go out again.”
12. “I went out with a woman who asked me out on her last day of work. It was really hard to say no. She was nice, but we didn’t have a lot in common, so I figured I would give it a shot. We went to the movies, during the previews, a Minion showed up, and she went on and on about how she hates Minions. Maybe I’m crazy, but it was at that moment that I knew there would be no number two.”
—Anonymous, 33 Philadelphia
13. “Classmate in college; seemed pretty cool. I had a friend bail on me to a Blink-182 and Green Day concert in Vegas, so I asked her to go so the ticket wouldn’t go to waste. She agreed and went, but before long, it was apparent she was obviously not having a good time. She kept appearing more and more uncomfortable, so finally I asked if she wanted to leave, and she readily said, ‘Yes!’ We left before Blink could even take the stage. Afterwards, as I was taking her home, I asked what on earth was wrong.”
14. “We worked in the same office. We went out to dinner and back to her apartment, and began making out on the couch. It was like making out with a bath towel. Nothing there. She said, ‘I don’t want to spend the night alone.’ I said, ‘Well, your roommate will be back soon,’ and left. We saw each other at work and never mentioned the date.”
—Anonymous, 80, Moab,UT
15. And finally, “I actually had a second date with a college-educated woman who was very nice. Partway through the evening, I began to feel ill, so I cut the evening short. Fearing that I might have been coming down with COVID, I tested myself when I got home. I tested positive. When I then did the right thing by calling her to inform her, she became quite angry. I apologized for possibly exposing her to the virus, thinking that that was what she was upset about. I asked her why she was reacting so angrily to the news, because again, I felt like I had handled the situation correctly, she told me that what angered her was the mere fact that I tested myself! (Huh?)”
Single men, tell us what happened on a first date with a woman that immediately made you think “There’s no way I’m going on a second” either in the comments or anonymously in the Google Form below: