CLEVELAND, Ohio – It’s easy to be cynical.
I thought about that when I heard a recent sermon by Jeff Bogue, pastor of Grace Church in Bath.
Cynicism can give us a feeling of superiority.
As Lindsey Godwin wrote in Psychology Today: “Cynicism has a certain appeal. It makes us feel sharp. Sophisticated. Ahead of the curve. In a world filled with spin, scams, and sugar-coated corporate speak, being cynical can feel like the only intelligent option. It’s the voice in our heads that says, ‘Yeah, right,’ when someone shares good news.”
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When I was a young sports writer, I was drawn to the older writers, and many of them were just that – cynical.
“Just another sob story,” they’d say when another reporter wrote about an athlete who overcame a major setback.
“Just coach-speak,” they’d say. “You can’t believe a word of it.”
Wanting to fit in
I once had an older writer tell me, “You’re too young to be so cynical.”
His point was I hadn’t endured enough career setbacks and problems to be convinced everything was so bad.
I took the comment as an insult, but I later realized he was right.
Part of the reason I was being so negative was that I wanted to fit in with others – the cool, worldly group. I was hiding my own insecurity.
“The imposter syndrome.”
I first heard that comment from Steven Kwan, the Guardians outfielder. It was 2022 when I was interviewing him for a story. Kwan is 5-foot-9. His parents are of Japanese and Chinese descent. As he moved up in baseball, he had coaches and others tell him that he’d never be a professional player, much less someone who has made two All-Star teams.
He confessed that even with his success, there are times when he hears the voices of the cynics. He feels like an “imposter” in a big league uniform at times.
I was in the same position as a 25-year-old rookie baseball writer — the fear of, “What if they find out who I really am?”
What’s really going on?
It took me a few years to figure out that many of the writers were frustrated about their own careers. They thought their talent wasn’t recognized, or that less-gifted writers were given better assignments.
Rather than look at their own situation, they were highly critical of others.
Bogue said he battled cynicism when it came to education – and he has a doctorate. He said he was cynical because of an eighth-grade teacher who was cruel and lied. While he was academically successful, he viewed the entire educational system with suspicion.
When around a cynical person – or battling cynicism ourselves – we need to ask this question: “Who hurt you?”
In Bogue’s case, it was the one teacher. Once we figure out who or what hurt us, we can begin to deal with our attitude.
Bogue cited Ephesians 4:32: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
What can we do?
As Bogue said, it’s not about casual joking. It’s about remarks that slice deep into the heart and soul of someone.
As Bogue asked, “Is that the kind of person we want to be?”
After we make a cutting comment, cynicism leads to us saying, “You are too sensitive … Why are you so defensive?”
But if something similar was said to us, we’d be angry and wounded.
When we are negative, complaining about everything, we need to ask ourselves, “Would we want to be around a person like us?
Ephesians 4:29: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
People are looking for something and someone positive in this angry and cynical age.