Q.
Dear Love Letters
I am a woman in my late 70s. I was married for 38 years. Now I am looking for love again.
I do not want to do dating apps. Please do not advise me to follow my passions and join clubs, take classes, etc. I have already done that, and in the past five years, only twice met men I was attracted to (one was married and the other was too young. )
I can’t join hiking/walking groups because I can’t move well anymore.
I am an attractive, lively, interesting, creative woman with a fantastic friend network. Don’t tell me to ask my friends to put the word out for me because they too wish they could find someone nice to date or marry.
My greatest concern is that I am not a sexual person.
What do you advise? How does one find an intimate partner, to enjoy adventures with, when being sexual is not your cup of tea?
Thank you
– Morning Glory
A.
I have a real understanding of what you won’t do to find love.
Your rules don’t leave me with much to offer.
That’s why I’d like to push back on the dating apps.
I understand why apps can be a turnoff – and a waste of time. But some of them offer a wonderful filtering system where you can say, “this, but not that; art lovers, but not hikers.”
They let you sort by politics and desires (or lack thereof).
There are also hybrid businesses that offer more traditional matchmaking, but start you out with an online survey. That’s another worthy route – hiring a real person to set you up. There are many levels of matchmaking services, and some are more affordable than others. Do some local research. This is a great time to delegate.
I’m breaking your rule, I understand. You don’t want to do any of this work. But you’re basically saying, “Order me up a companion, like the kids order up Mary Poppins in “Mary Poppins.” As if you can sing your wishes and the person just … shows up.
It only works that way in musicals. You need to type those wishes into an app – or say them to a person who does the matchmaking work for you.
– Meredith
Readers? Time for a matchmaker? What services have you looked into? And yes, I know I should host a singles event for older people. I’ll look into it for the winter.
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