A childfree millennial has opened up about the reasons why she loves her life without needing to be a mom, as she urges people to respect her decisions.
In years gone by, Ellie Colson thought her future included getting married and having kids one day. She was in a long-term relationship in her twenties and had the wedding all planned out (and paid for no less), and it seemed like being a mom was just “the natural progression.”
But something about it just didn’t feel right for Colson, 37, from the U.K. That relationship ultimately ended, and she told Newsweek that it felt like “a weight had been lifted.” She realized that the future she’d been picturing wasn’t her dream, but it was the societal pressures she felt.
“As my friends and family started getting married and having children, the more it reaffirmed that the decision I made was the right one,” Colson said.
When Colson was 29, she met her current partner, Karl. Early on, they had the chat about marriage and children and realized they were both completely aligned in not wanting either.
“He is very much an introvert and was never interested in weddings, and he was a hard no on the children front too. We both knew deep down that we were both in it for the long haul and children just weren’t in that journey for us,” she continued.
Now, the couple have been together for eight years and they couldn’t love their childfree life more. They have dogs who they devote their time to, they can travel and spend their money on what they want, and their home is always tidy and quiet. But for Colson, the freedom they have to enjoy life is “second to none.”
Colson has taken to social media (@echojulietcharlie88 on TikTok) to share 10 reasons why she chooses to stay childfree. The post highlighted that her life is already too hectic, that she wants to keep doing the things she enjoys rather than child-friendly activities, doesn’t like the idea of childbirth, and she doesn’t want to put her career on hold to raise a family.
The post has gone viral on TikTok, generating over 987,100 views and more than 47,000 likes at the time of writing.
Of course, sometimes Colson feels judged and gets hateful comments (usually on the internet) about her lifestyle. But she couldn’t be happier, and hopes to show others that it’s perfectly OK to choose a different path in life.
Colson said: “Societal pressures aren’t quite as bad as they were in times gone by, but still very old fashioned as women are expected to be the homemakers. The best comment (or worst, whichever way you look at it) that I have heard is ‘why were women put on this earth if not to birth children?’ It’s pig-headed people like this that ensures women will always be seen as inferior.
“There’s also a mental load. We are expected to do things without being asked or told, to juggle pretty much everything in the household whilst working/exercising/surviving, and it’s too much. Children add to this mental load, and both mine and Karl’s mental health would suffer greatly if we were to ever bring kids into this world.”
After sharing her personal experiences on social media, Colson had no idea it would generate so much attention. The overwhelming response has been positive, and she’s connected with so many other childfree people.
Going viral doesn’t come without some backlash however, as Colson has been called selfish and self-centered by certain internet users. Indeed, others even asked who will look after her when she’s old or said she must be infertile because she couldn’t possibly choose not to have kids.
She doesn’t let that get her down though. She loves the life she’s carved out for herself, and she’s more than happy being the fun auntie to her nieces and nephews (who she can give back when they get crabby).
“Parenthood isn’t for everyone and equally, a childfree life isn’t for everyone, but that is OK,” Colson told Newsweek. “Not a day goes by that I don’t think about how my life would be if I had to think about a child, and it reaffirms my decision that little bit more.”
“Please don’t try to convince us that we are missing out or that ‘we will change our minds.’ You don’t see us trying to say that parents are worse off for having kids. Be respectful of other people’s choices, and don’t force your own choices upon them,” she continued.
Since the TikTok clip was shared in August, it has led to more than 7,200 comments as internet users were quick to share their thoughts.
One comment reads: “All of this is so very valid, enjoy your life beautiful.”
Another TikTok user wrote: “You live your best life girlfriend. Enjoy it.”
Another person added: “I totally respect your choice, but I couldn’t imagine a life without children.”
While one person replied: “Why is it when people say they want kids everyone accepts their decision but someone doesn’t want kids they try and sway your decision?”