Younger Generations Are Calling Out Things Older Generations Should Stop Doing, And It’s Very, Very Hard To Hear
“Older generations, sometimes the best way to help is NOT to help. I know it seems counterintuitive, but for me (as a millennial), your help seems less like help and more like bullying.”
We recently asked the Gen Z’ers and millennials of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us what they wish older generations would stop doing. Here are the eye-opening results:
1. “Elder millennial here, and I don’t understand the amount of shame that older generations have about family secrets or mistakes that they’ve made…sweeping things under the rug, aka, denial, is exhausting and a waste of time.”
—sassygem71
2. “Thinking that when they were our age, they were smarter than us, making fun of us, because some happen to do stupid things. If they don’t know, on the internet you can find photos showing that they could be ‘dumb’ as well back then.”
—stellapsycho22
3. “I wish the older generation would stop making put-downs about people’s bodies (looks and weight), intellect, syntax/grammar, accents/dialects, etc. — and please stop it with the ‘Yeah, I’m just being honest/serious,’ or ‘Yeah, it’s the truth’ when making such put-downs. The older generation tends to tell the younger generations the ‘truth,’ like we are either not smart enough to comprehend or just to unfairly put us in our place.”
—smellycowboy28
4. “Gen Z here. I think older generations should try to empathize more when it comes to mental health; we’re not just looking for attention and feeling sorry for ourselves — it’s legit an ILLNESS, and it shouldn’t be looked at as something that isn’t serious.”
—nvmwegood
5. “STOP telling victims, especially female victims of SA, that it was their fault! My grandmother told me when I shared with our family that my cousin got drunk and inappropriately touched me, and if my roommates had not heard me, it would have been much worse, and she had the gall to say Well, if you don’t want those things happening, don’t drink and let men in your home. Like, seriously, stop telling women it is their fault bc they look, act, and think a certain way that they want them to. Also, stop sweeping family secrets under the rug like they didn’t happen and actually talk about the trauma you’ve been through instead of victim-blaming.”
“And one last thing..STOP BEING BULLIES! Hate is taught, and racism is taught. We are not born thinking in color codes; we are taught to think in color codes. There’s a big difference.”
—furrypizza49
6. “As a millennial parent, it is *baffling* how disengaged our parents’ generation is with their grandkids. My daughter’s closest grandparent relationships are her two great-grandmas; my parents and in-laws just cannot be bothered.”
—halvorsenmrs
7. “I wish older generations, especially those deciding other people’s salaries, educated themselves on the current cost of living.”
—ruandano
“We’re not exaggerating about the hopelessness of the cost of living. Buying a home now is genuinely more difficult than it was in the Great Depression. Our wages genuinely do not cover our skyrocketing food costs. We are struggling more than you ever did, and we’re tired of being told we’re being dramatic. All we want is to be comfortable. Not rich, just comfortable. But even that is hard when inflation is out of control, and old people keep raising the bar for comfortable living that they’re never going to have to suffer for.”
—Anonymous, 22, Oregon
8. “Older generations, sometimes the best way to help is NOT to help. I know it seems counterintuitive, but for me (as a millennial), your help seems less like help and more like bullying.”
—justanobserver
9. “I think the older generation is worse about using racial and other stereotypes. I would think that anyone older would object to being typified purely by their age and the negative stereotypes associated with it. Why is it so difficult to understand that anyone would find it tedious to be judged by and reduced to a stereotype?”
—originalg1997
10. “STOP TELLING US TO HAVE KIDS!!! If we say we don’t want any, assume we mean it! Don’t tell us, ‘Oh, someday you’ll change your mind,’ or ‘It’s better to have kids than to end up alone.’ PLEASE, I’M BEGGING. Respect our opinions, and know that our world shapes our views differently than it might’ve shaped yours.”
—a_117
“A ‘good life’ is no longer defined by marriage, a white collar job, and a white picket fence with two kids and a dog. I think many of us just want to be happy and find something that fulfills us and gives us a sense of purpose. As long as someone’s being a decent human, it’s not my or anyone else’s place to judge them or define their worth. If a person is happy and fulfilled being single and childless, let them be happy — stop bugging us to get married and give you grandchildren. We don’t owe you grandchildren. You calling our generation ‘entitled’ is the pot calling the kettle black.”
—Anonymous, 37, Illinois
11. “I wish they would stop thinking they’re owed anything just for ‘being nice’ to you.”
—jamiedoesntknow
12. “Older generations should stop staying, ‘No one/this generation doesn’t want to work anymore’ when lines are long or a business is short-staffed. It’s not that the younger generations don’t want to work. We are unwilling to let our jobs/careers take precedence over living our lives. Salaries are negotiable; time is not.”
—Anonymous, 34, Arizona
“I wish older generations would stop blaming people for being unemployed. You can’t make someone hire you, and it took me *years* to unlearn the idea that I’m a moral failure for not having a job despite my best efforts.”
—Anonymous, 31, USA
13. “Stop telling us that we could afford a house if we just learn to ‘sacrifice like they did,’ blaming our financial woes on extravagant living rather than the increase in the disparity between wages and the cost of living over the last 50 years. I have a 13-year-old small sedan that is paid off, and I haven’t been on a plane (or more than 500 miles from home) since 2005. All vacations are camping or weekend road trips to budget motels. I follow a strict budget with NO DEBT, and all my income that doesn’t go to bills goes directly into savings, HSA, or 401k. I have a good professional career, and I still can’t save enough for a decent downpayment with these housing prices.”
“I have a good professional career, and I still can’t save enough for a decent down payment with these housing prices.”
—Anonymous, 39
14. “Gen Z here. Dear older generation: stop!!!!!!!! complaining about technology. It’s here, and you need to get used to it.”
—moderncat881
“They are always so hypocritical about us ‘being on phones,’ but then, they will be on Facebook all the time gossiping about Great Aunt Becky, whom you met that one time when you were 6.”
—emersonbrown
15. “Stop buying investment properties and investing in private housing equities. Our ability to live in our own homes is completely destroyed by your ‘retirement investments.'”
—Anonymous, 31, Arizona
16. “Older generations should know just how to be normal in a retail environment. I’ve worked retail since high school, and the amount of older people who act nasty towards me is wild. They’ve had jobs. They should know what it’s like when I say, ‘Honestly, I don’t know because that’s not what they trained me for.'”
“They were young once. They should know what having a first job is like and the anxiety and confusion that comes with working with people. And the constant, ‘Well, if it didn’t ring up, it must be free’ jokes make me crash out every time.”
—Anonymous, 22, USA
And finally…
17. “Older generations should know that we’re not just your kids; we’re also adults who have seen a lot of things, been through a lot of things, and learned a lot of things along the way. You will gain nothing if you continue to see and treat us as the children we once were, not for who we are now and what we’ve grown up to be.”
—Anonymous, 34, USA
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
Do you agree with these? Gen Z’ers and millennials, what other things should older generations know? Tell us in the comments, or if you prefer to remain anonymous, you can use the form below.