DEAR ABBY: I lost my husband two months ago after a long, debilitating illness. I loved him very much, and the loss was very difficult, although not unexpected.
After his funeral, an old friend called me offering condolences. He had lost his wife last year after a long illness, and he understood what I had been through. We both had lost spouses after marriages that had lasted 50 years. We remain in touch and would like to start dating. On one hand, I feel I gave my husband everything I had to give while he was alive. On the other hand, I don’t want to be disrespectful to him, my children and my husband’s family. Is it too soon? — READY NOW IN TEXAS
DEAR READY: While there is no strict timetable for grieving, and you may have started processing your loss before your husband’s actual death, I do think that after only two months you may be jumping the gun a bit. Take as much time as you need to get to know your old friend again. There’s nothing shameful about being seen with someone who is offering condolences and emotional support. In another six to nine months, his presence will no longer shock those who love you and would like to see you happy.
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Stories by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby: I’ve held the flame for minister for so long I can’t let him go, even after betrayal
Dear Abby: Husband starts a job with more travel, and everything I thought I knew about him crumbles
Dear Abby: Mr. Fix-It has a savior complex with women, and wonders why they keep leaving him
Dear Abby: I’m only 29, and my life already feels like it’s at a dead end
Dear Abby: Is my son a habitual liar, or is he just ashamed to tell us the truth about his job
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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