DEAR ABBY: My son has trouble telling the truth. He was getting up late, dressing for work, leaving and coming back early. When my husband and I asked him about having a job, he said he had one. When we asked him to show us his paycheck, he fumbled around on his phone, then he confessed that he had no job. He said he has been at the library looking for work.
This isn’t the first time my son has lied to us. He agreed to counseling. He is good to us and he is kind, but he lies. He is in his 40s now. Help! How do we live with a liar? — CAN’T BELIEVE HIM IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR CAN’T BELIEVE: Assuming that your son isn’t penniless, where has he been getting money? If it is from you and your husband, it’s time to stop. That may give him an incentive to look harder for employment. While you are at it, give him a date after which he must have found other lodging, and stick to it.
A counselor may be able to help your son with his problem telling the truth, but it is long past time that you stopped living with it.
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Feeling stuck at home at 29
DEAR ABBY: I am 29 and on the autism spectrum, and I live with my parents. I work a full-time job I enjoy and help my folks out financially wherever I can, but my life feels like it is at a dead end.
I have wanted to go back to college, but I often wonder if it’s even worth it anymore. On top of that, my two best friends abandoned me, and I can’t shake off my loneliness.
I want to be successful and meet new people, but I have no idea what to do or where to go from here. Is there still hope? — LOST CAUSE IN GEORGIA
DEAR LOST CAUSE: You are only 29! If you think that furthering your education will enhance your career opportunities, avail yourself of the opportunity. You are single and don’t have children to support, so this is the time to go for it.
As to your loneliness, you are socially isolated right now. Getting out and into activities that interest you will enhance your chances of meeting like-minded people. You may be depressed, but you are NOT a lost cause. Of course there is still hope!
I fix broken women and then they move on
DEAR ABBY: I have lousy luck with women. I get involved with women who are slightly broken. Then I fix them and think we are growing a relationship, only for them to find the next love of their lives and push me into the friend zone.
It is leaving me disappointed and emotionally exhausted. I’m a good person, capable of giving and accepting love, but it appears I’m only a stopgap. It’s making me want to just be alone. Advice? — MR. FIX-IT IN ILLINOIS
DEAR MR. FIX-IT: There is nothing wrong with being alone. In fact, it can be healthy. You need to break a destructive pattern that you may have established. It is important that you get over the impulse to rescue women who have been unlucky in love and whose self-esteem is weak. Concentrate instead on finding someone who feels good about herself without your help, and you may have better luck.
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