By Sunday Oguntola, Online Editor,The Nation

Copyright thenationonlineng

Bishop Peace Okonkwo is the Resident Pastor at The Redeemed Evangelical Missions (TREM) headquarters and wife of the founding Bishop. She spoke with reporters recently on her family life, marriage and ministerial exploits. Online Editor Sunday Oguntola was there. Excerpts:

Who is Bishop Mike Okonkwo outside the pulpit?

Bishop is a family man; he is very homely and domesticated. He is extremely detailed; very organised with his things, and does not miss anything. If you give him anything to read, he will read it thoroughly and take note of every sentence, word, spelling and make corrections where there are errors. You might be surprised hearing this but Bishop is a good cook and a really good one at that. He even taught me to cook some things in time past; that’s how good he is.

It’s funny because he comes from a family of 9 children – 6 boys and 3 girls and they always had people living with them whilst growing up because his father was a Civil Servant and worked in different places. I honestly don’t know how he learnt to cook so well – even down to vegetable soups.

He is also a lover of good music – he has an ear for good, quality music. His love for music has rubbed off on me, even though it’s still nothing compared to him. Even at this age, the Evangel Voices (Headquarter Church Choir) are kept on their toes, because when he is around, he can spontaneously request for a particular song ministration during the service, which they are not prepared to sing. He also sings well (of course, not as well anymore because of his age) and used to play some instruments.

Finally, at least for now, Bishop Mike is also a very funny person; he has a hearty laughter that will make you laugh even if you don’t want to. If you play games with Bishop, you would fall on the floor laughing, especially board games. If it ever happens that he is in a winning position against you, just resign because he would play and laugh at you, so much that you will willingly give up and no longer continue playing. Bishop is quite interesting to be with; we enjoy each other’s company and are very good friends even as husband and wife, and given all that God has entrusted into our care, ministerially and otherwise.

We enjoy watching movies together and also football. I, particularly, am a football lover. My favourite sports are football and tennis, any day and anytime. In football, I’ve supported Chelsea Football Club since the days of Mourinho and Drogba; I loved that team and continue to support them now. Bishop is a Manchester United fan and when they lose, he gets angry. We watch football together and laugh. When we are watching a match, sometimes we sit on the floor in the living room to relax.

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Interestingly, my love for tennis also influenced him and we both follow the Tennis tour religiously with all the players and tournaments. My current favourite players are Coco Gauff and Alcaraz (Carlos). You should see us when we’re watching tennis (laughs).

How did the love story begin?

(Laughs) It’s a long story but I’ll try to share as much as I can remember. Like I said before, my husband is a very shy person, a private man, so much so that he did not know how to approach me to tell me that he liked me initially. He could not talk to a lady, so he had to get the support of his eldest Sister to do so for him. Rev. Mrs. Edith Iloh is Bishop Mike’s eldest Sister – the firstborn of their family, and at the time, we all were attending the same Church after the Civil War. Things seemed quite bleak back then, especially as most people lost everything to the war and had to start rebuilding their lives and livelihoods from scratch. As such, the Church was a source of succor and hope to many, who turned to God for help.

It was there that we met – but not with him at first, as I mentioned earlier. His eldest Sister liked me so much and she was the one who said to me, “My brother likes you.” Honestly, I was quite surprised, wondering which amongst her brothers liked me, because she had six brothers. It was then she said, “The one who works in the bank” to which I replied, “Okay, we’ll talk about it” and moved on.

At the time, I had plans to travel to the United Kingdom to further my studies and career and with everything that was going on, nothing changed – I still travelled and after a while, returned to Nigeria.

So, what was the attraction when he eventually summed up courage to speak to you?

Nothing! The first time we spoke, I didn’t see anything that attracted him to me. I actually felt he was so arrogant, especially because of his family background. Even when we held fellowship meetings in Church where he was also in attendance, I always said to myself “What is wrong with this young man? Why is he all over the place, as if he’s the only one?” Now, I think back to those thoughts of mine and laugh at myself because I love him so dearly. You know how things can be with ladies when it comes to men? Sometimes, there is that seeming irritation at the initial stage, which is inexplicable. However, that is in the past now, as those initial thoughts and feelings gave way to much deeper feelings of love and appreciation for the great man that he is.

Truly, he is God’s gift to me. I say it all the time, that after Jesus Christ in my life, it is Bishop Mike Okonkwo; I honestly don’t know how my life would have turned out if God didn’t bring us together. The woman you see today is all thanks to God and to him. He has been and continues to be a blessing to me, in every sense of the word. I love him dearly.

Are Pastors/ men & women of God insulated from challenges?

We are flesh and blood like everyone else, and we all have our moments of human weakness and vulnerability. There is no Pastor, Apostle, Prophet, Evangelist, Teacher or Preacher that can claim not to have moments of human weakness – if anyone claims so, that person is not telling the truth, and like Bishop will say, we need to check their salvation again.

The same way a believer learns to trust God for their daily needs and challenges they encounter in life, is the same way a Pastor must learn to trust God for his/her own needs in life. There’s no shortcut to it simply because you’re a Pastor. There was a time in our lives when we did not have food to eat; there was no food at home, and being the Pastor, we also had some people living with us. Bishop told me to put water on fire that we should trust God for divine provision and that God will send us food. It sounded crazy, but in obedience, I put water on fire to boil. I don’t remember how many times now but I had to refill the pot at different times because as the water kept boiling, it would evaporate and reduce in quantity.

However, not too long after, to the glory of God, we heard a knock on the door and when we opened, it was a woman who told us that God spoke to her to deliver foodstuff to us. She came in her pickup truck, and it was loaded with all sorts – bags of rice, beans, garri, tubers of yam, gallons of vegetable oil, palm oil – you name it. We experienced firsthand, God’s divine provision. You can only imagine the joy and excitement that filled the house that evening; we cooked and everyone ate to their fill.

How did Bishop convince you to join the Ministry?

He didn’t convince me. To tell you the truth, he never spoke to me for once about coming into Ministry. My husband is a firm believer that the call of God upon a man or woman’s life is personal; this means that the fact that a man is called and is a Pastor does not necessarily mean that his wife is also called and should automatically assume a Pastoral role in the Church, and vice-versa.

For me, it started when my husband travelled to the USA for his studies at the Morris Cerullo School of Ministry. Whilst he was there, he said God spoke to him. I was very much involved in the work of the ministry in different other capacities. I once served as an Usher, sang in the Choir and got involved in almost every department of the Church. There was nothing I had not done, including cleaning the church before service. Whenever the women would come, I was always the first to be present.

Also at the time, I was working full-time as a secretary to an expatriate, somewhere in Adeniyi Jones, Ikeja; the company has folded up now. He said God spoke to him that I should give up the job but he didn’t tell me. He said: “God, if it is you that is saying it, then talk to her.” Afterwards, the Church Board also noted that I was making considerable input into the growth of the Ministry and requested that I come onboard as a full-time Minister. I said to them that I would pray about it, also noting that as the first of many children, my siblings and mother depended on me to support them because my father was late. I prayed about it and told God the situation at hand. Following that, I told my mum about it and she agreed. I also explained to her that this means that the money I usually sent her for her upkeep won’t be regular anymore as I won’t be able to meet up with that obligation, owing to the nature of being in full-time ministerial work

She had come to stay with us after I had my first child, when I told her and she said the Lord would provide. She said the best thing you can do is to work for God and with that, it sealed things for me. In response, I told Bishop and the Board that I had accepted the offer and that I didn’t want any allowance for one year, as I wanted to prove God. That’s how my journey started.

Why did you marry even though you knew he had quit his job?

Yes, I decided to marry him even without a job. He was working a well-paying job as a banker with the now-defunct African Continental Bank (ACB) and he had amazing prospects as a young man but he left the job because of the call of God upon his life. I was not fazed by it at all.

But that must have been strange and scary as well…

You can say that and you won’t be entirely wrong, but I was seeing beyond what I saw in the physical. We live in a time and age when people, especially ladies, are after what they can see naturally. In my case, I did not care about what he had because I knew where I was coming from, and for us, it was God that raised us. My mother had 7 children – 6 daughters and 1 son and even though I don’t know how we managed to complete our education, today, we are all graduates.

My mother had only two clothes; one she wore one on Sundays and the other during the week but God saw her through and provided for all her children to go to school. So, having nothing did not move me at all, because I knew that the God I served would give me everything that I needed.

My aunty was abroad, so she told my mother that one of us should come and stay with her and they chose me. When I travelled abroad and people were trying to persuade me against marrying Bishop Mike, I told them that I had made up my mind. It was not that there was something he was giving me. I remember that when I was abroad, I came home twice at different times, but my husband could not give me a penny because he did not have, and I honestly did not mind. I just knew that he was what I wanted and I knew that somehow God would make it good.

So now with the way he is and where God has taken him in life, there is nothing he has that he cannot give me because I have been there when he did not have anything. My plea to young ladies especially in today’s “Get rich quick” world is that they should take their eyes off material things. Unfortunately, many young ladies have lost their lives as victims to ritualists in their pursuit of ephemeral things.

I remember when my daughter was about to get married, I told her that God instructed me to inform her that she should not look at money. I advised her not to focus on money in making her decision and she heeded my advice.

So, what should young ladies look out for in a man?

As a lady, look out for someone who is truthful and sincere; one who loves God with all his heart. The world is so wonderful that people do not mind becoming second or third wives; many times when I see these things, I ask myself “What are they looking for?” Every now and again, we see different stories in the media about young ladies, some in their teens and early 20s’, getting married to much-older men as either third, fourth, or even fifth wife and I genuinely weep for them.

I always wonder why their families allow them make such decisions that have the potential to ruin their lives. In most cases, money is the deciding factor. I think we have a lot of work on our hands, and we need more girl-child and women advocacy groups to do more, to stop this sad trend. Girls are not commodities for pleasure.

My personal candid advice to ladies is – choose a man that you will grow with through life and not someone that is already made. If he is made, he most likely will dictate to you how to live your life but if you both worked hard for your wealth, you would both enjoy it together. There are always exceptions to every rule, because human beings are different, but in most cases, this is always right.

What else stands your husband out?

Bishop is a very stylish man. He is what the younger ones will refer to as a “Fashionista” because he loves his clothes! In fact, I usually mock him with this when I tell him that he can actually rival me in the number of clothes and outfits that he has (laughs).

But in all honesty, Bishop has a wonderful fashion sense; he knows how to put outfits together very well and it will come out looking nice, especially with his physique. You can see it in the way he dresses and this influenced and even continues to influence a lot of people in Church, family members and those who relate with him. Appearance is a major thing for him. He cares how he looks.

In fact, he teaches me about colour combinations and what style works best even till today. To the extent that my daughter tells me, “Mummy, if you want to buy me anything, please let Daddy see it first.” because she trusts his judgement when it comes to fashion. For me growing up, I really didn’t care about looking stylish or corporate for that matter; all I knew was to always ensure that my clothes were neat and I smelled nice.

What would you say is the secret to his longevity in ministry?

If I could mention one thing in addition to the unconditional love, mercy and grace of God upon his life, I’d say that his longevity in life and ministry is down to having an insatiable hunger for God and His Word and the genuineness of his heart towards God. My husband is a man of the Word. Any day, anytime – morning, afternoon and night, January to December, he is a stickler for the Word of God. He lives, eats and breathes the Word of God. There is nothing that he does that is outside of the Word of God; you won’t catch him there at all.

Even me, sometimes things happen, and I want to respond in a way that does not align with the Word of God, he will ask me, “Is that what the Word of God says?”; “Are you not a Christian again?”

That’s who he is, and God has helped him maintain this, honestly. Even in the face of tough betrayals, insidious acts and back-stabbing he has suffered in life and ministry, he always chooses to respond in a godly way, following the steps of Jesus, and God always fights for him. That is something that we all continue to learn from him.

He is a perpetual learner; he flows with all generations, even with the younger generation more than myself. He knows the slangs; sometimes I wonder where he learns them from. Well, my daughter is one of his teachers. But that is Bishop Mike Okonkwo for you. He has always said that he would rather that God calls him home to glory, than for him to remain here on earth and become a “used-to-be”. So, he stays learning, reading and studying the Word of God, fervent in prayers, to remain fresh and at the cutting edge of life and Ministry. Another thing is that Bishop Mike can learn from anyone, it does not matter who it is. Even if it is a young child that is sharing with him, his heart is always open to learn and he does it with joy and excitement. Even till date, in spite of how far God has taken him, he never misses taking notes when he is in a congregation and someone else is preaching the Word. Some people might assume that he has known it all, and so has nothing to learn again, but like he always says, “If you are not learning, then you are dying.”

For Bishop Mike Okonkwo, age is just a number; you can never tell his age when you speak with him because he is very young in his mind. God has kept covenant with him and he keeps getting younger and younger, with every passing day. One thing I have come to know, having been married to him and lived with him all these years, is that God loves Bishop Mike so much. I have seen enough to come to this conclusion, and it is this love that has kept him healthy and strong – spiritually, physically and mentally for these 80 years.

his hands, he will see it manifest in his very lifetime and be satisfied, in Jesus’ name, amen. As his days are, so shall his strength be; like Moses, whose eyes did not grow dim, neither did his strength abate, even at 120 years, much more shall it be for him, in Jesus’ name, amen. He will wax stronger in health, vitality and strength, with every passing day, in Jesus’ name, amen.

Finally, concerning his family – his wife, children and grandchildren, God will continually safeguard and protect us all, in Jesus’ name, amen. Evil shall never come near us, neither shall any plague come near our dwelling. It is well with us all – spirit, soul and body, in Jesus’ name, amen.

I love you, Nna’m.

Happy 80th Birthday!