People Are Sharing The Professions That Make The Worst Spouses, And Some Of These I Didn’t See Coming
Love might be blind, but it can’t ignore a brutal schedule.
A lot of us are able to find a work-life balance that allows for our jobs not to spill into our personal lives. But some jobs don’t just come with long hours; they come with baggage that can wreck a relationship. Maybe it’s the constant travel, unpredictable schedules, or the stress that spills into every conversation. Some careers even encourage habits that make home life harder, like keeping secrets or always being “on call.” Of course, not everyone in these fields is doomed to a rocky love life, but the odds aren’t great.
Recently, redditor dirtymoney wanted to know about those jobs that make relationships hard when they asked: “What professions make the worst spouses?”
The thread got over 2K responses. Below are a few professions people say can be the toughest to marry into:
1. “Restaurant/bar manager/owner. They work every day, often 12–15 hours, every holiday and weekend. The term ‘restaurant widow’ is a real thing. Alcoholism/drugs are ever-present, there’s a high cheat rate, and a complete lack of accountability; it’s just ‘part of the job.’
2. “Chefs.”
3. “Anything where you’re a trailing spouse in a foreign country. It can sound cool if your spouse goes somewhere cool, but it’s also incredibly lonely and isolating. Likely, you’re moving somewhere where you know nobody but your spouse, and they’re working all day (even more isolating with children), and you’re basically left on your own in a foreign country. Even worse if it’s a country you don’t like. The foreign service divorce rates are through the roof.”
4. “From my experience dealing with clients… surgeons. The personality type of a surgeon is often a relentless and often sociopathic person with a singular interest on one thing (being a good surgeon). They are great at their jobs because of these personality traits, but on a personal level, they often lack empathy/compassion, reduce everything to clinical and mechanical terms, and are incredibly cold people. And because of their intense competitive streak, it can be impossible to get along with them during any kind of competitive play. When you throw a spouse in the mix and 70–90-hour workweeks, you often end up with a toxic stew.”
5. “Over-the-road truck drivers.”
6. “Police hands down, the DV rates are actually terrifying.”
7. “Lawyers. Often married to the job, whether it is for the money or a cause. Definitely do not put two in the same relationship. As an old adjunct professor told our class one time: ‘Folks, as people who are training to be lawyers, let me give you some life advice. A lawyer becomes you, or you were always it. Either way, you don’t want two people trained to argue in the same confined space for that long, much less being forced to make life decisions together. There is a perfectly lovely nursing university in the city center, a few miles down the street.'”
8. “Flight attendants. They work away from home for days or weeks, jetlag messes with the body, and they deal with unruly passengers with a smile. Also, cheating is through the roof.”
9. “Pilots. I was a flight attendant, and I’ve seen how they act and what they do on layovers.”
10. “Morticians. Unless the spouse is in the industry or is very understanding prior to marriage, the late nights, death calls in the middle of the night, and the missed dinners, family functions, and holidays. Essentially, putting others before your own can take a toll if someone isn’t on the same page.”
11. “I haven’t seen this mentioned yet, but investment bankers often make terrible spouses. The job is incredibly demanding — long hours, high stress, and a spillover effect into everyday life. The industry is very hierarchical and competitive, which can carry over into the relationship. You’ll often find your partner distracted, cancelling plans at the last minute, or stressing over what seem like menial things. Despite the six-figure bonuses, many also struggle with lifestyle inflation, so financial responsibility isn’t always a strength. Add to that the constant travel, client dinners, and the ‘work always comes first’ mentality, and it’s not as desirable as people think to date someone in finance.”
12. “I think bartenders have some of the highest divorce rates or cheating rates. Makes sense when you have so many opportunities to cheat and you work weird hours.”
13. “My mind goes to the military. Away for long periods at a time, often come back with problems (PTSD, etc.).”
14. “Nurses. My own experience is they’re drained and burnt out, so you get the brunt of their anger and frustration. And also no compassion ’cause they’re all out of that when they come home.”
15. “Filmmakers. Usually 14-hour workdays. Sometimes months away working on a film. Inconsistent work hours. And then your partner falls in love with someone else while he’s away and lies about it, so yeah. Never doing that again.”
16. “Fighter pilots. Similar to surgeons in many ways. You have to be incredibly driven and focused to make it to that level, combined with a God complex, and being deployed for months at a time. Also prone to using drugs and alcohol to manage the highs and lows of launching like a rocket off the side of a carrier, dropping ordinance, and then coming down. Navy pilots are definitely the worst of them all. Never again.”
17. And lastly, “Never, ever marry a rock musician. I wouldn’t recommend dating one, either. I spent 17 years on that ride (if you count dating musicians, then meeting and marrying one), and it was a fucking nightmare. You will always come in second to a guitar or a gig (or drinking or drugs). Obviously, your mileage may vary, but for me, it was an exercise in futility.”
You can read the full thread of responses on Reddit.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.