It became very real to my son that those drills are for a very specific reason, and we talked about it. He described how they lock the door and all run and huddle behind the teacher’s desk and hope they do not get shot. My heart sunk and my eyes opened to what kids today are conditioned to, and I just thought to myself how we have failed as a society to where our kids are practicing mass shooting drills as part of their routine in school. He asked if we did that when I was in school, and I said no, we didn’t. School shootings just didn’t happen then. We practiced fire and tornado drills, and that was it.

So, what has changed since I was in school? For one thing, when I was a kid there was a federal assault weapons ban. As I stood at the vigil with my son, I had to concede to myself for the first time in my life that maybe, just maybe, guns are a part of this problem. Obviously, they are not the whole problem and not the core problem, but denying that they are part of the problem is just senseless and unreasonable.

The kind of rifle used in this and so many other mass shootings have characteristics that make it really good for shooting lots of people. An assault rifle has a high muzzle velocity, which creates more damage to whatever it hits. A clip-fed assault rifle also has little recoil and sends a lot of ammo downrange in a short period of time accurately. That means that the shooter at Annunciation could put 116 rounds from a single assault rifle into the church in a matter of moments. (His handgun jammed, and he fired three shotgun rounds as well.)

This real-world example highlights the difference between three types of guns and what they are capable of. No hunter wants to send 116 rounds into the open air knowing it is far too dangerous and irresponsible to do so. ARs are certainly great sellers, maybe the top sellers nationwide, but for hunting purposes there are better applications for big game such as the popular 30-06 rifle. For small game, it’s a 22. A Glock 19, 9mm is widely considered the best gun for self-defense. So we must ask ourselves, if an AR is not a top choice for hunters or for self-defense, what is its intended purpose and what is it good for?

I am not saying a ban is the answer; I am also not saying it’s not an answer. What I am saying is it’s time that we as a society take a long, hard look and search deep down in our gut and ask ourselves if it was my kid that was shot, if it were the students in our school who are going to have PTSD for the rest of their lives, did the type of gun used play a role in the death and injury of these children?

In recovery, the first step is admitting we have a problem. That is the foundational building block from which all meaningful progress is made. My challenge to all of you is to really be objective and ask yourself, do you think assault rifles are part of the problem? It took me 44 years and being at a vigil with my 8-year-old son, having a conversation with him about lockdown drills on the heels of a mass shooting to concede to myself for the first time in my life that they are indeed part of the problem, and that we have failed to keep our kids safe. So, what do we do?