Dustin Gravelle was athletic, driven and incredibly kind.
He was the type of kid who stood up against bullies, loved to ride bikes on trails around his house and excelled at track and basketball. He loved the ocean and sunshine.
On Feb. 5, 2005, 18-year-old Dustin died by suicide.
Twenty years later, members of the Gravelle family gather around their dining room table in Kalispell to talk about Dustin, the youngest of three kids born to Orlin and Vicki Gravelle.
Sharing Dustin’s story is a way to “march forward and help other people,” like Dustin would have wanted, his sister Des Young, said.
Dustin was born two months prematurely and weighed 2.5 pounds, Vicki said. While he struggled in school occasionally as a kid, Dustin remained determined, kind and ambitious.
“They said not to name him when he was born, that he may not make it,” Vicki said. “Anyway, he made it. And we got to have him for 18 years. Everybody loved him.”
“They really did,” Orlin said. “His smile was just infectious.”
Sitting behind the family is a large, hinged photo frame with glimpses into Dustin’s life. In one, he stands tall in his Flathead High School track uniform and in a photo taken years earlier, he’s a baby wearing a diaper and his grandpa’s boots while smiling.
At the time of Dustin’s death, the family says, mental health and suicide were taboo subjects rarely talked about in the community. But later this month, the Gravelle family will join hundreds of people expected to walk in the Flathead Valley Out of the Darkness Walk, an annual event that draws attention to mental health and connects community members with resources in the name of suicide prevention.
September marks national Suicide Prevention Awareness Month.
This year, walk organizers hope to raise $30,000 to support the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, the organization behind the nationwide walks. The Kalispell walk is at 2 p.m. on Sept. 28 at Kalispell Middle School.
Montana consistently has one of the highest suicide rates in the United States. Suicide is the eighth leading cause of death in the state and the second leading cause of death for those in Dustin’s age group, 15-24, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
In 2023, 73% of communities statewide did not have enough mental health providers to serve residents, according to Montana Department of Public Health and Human Services. But there are efforts to grow the mental health infrastructure in the state and expand discussion on the topic, including multiple funding mechanisms approved by the 2023 and 2025 Legislatures.
Talking about suicide and drawing attention to mental health while sharing Dustin’s story is a way to spread awareness, Dustin’s family says.
“Now it’s a very different world and people are having the exact same struggles, but people are talking about it now,” his sister Des said. “I think the only thing that we can do is to keep talking about him. We want to keep his memory alive for us and for our kids, but to talk about it could help other people that might feel like they are in that position.”
This year marks 20 years since the Gravelles lost Dustin, a length of time that parents Orlin and Vicki say feels strange sometimes. For a long time, his family did not want to talk about how he died but they’ve since learned that the community that loved Dustin remains today.
For the walk, the family is going as “Team Red Rock,” inspired by a memorial left for Dustin at a bright red rock he found one day exploring the mountains near the family home. honoring Dustin, the person they love and lost.
The impact of suicide never goes away, Alison Harr Schmaltz, chair of the Flathead Valley Out of Darkness Suicide Prevention Walk, said. By bringing people together to walk among survivors, others who have lost loved ones and those who have struggled themselves, it’s like a hug for the community, she says.
Grief of losing a loved one never goes away, Dustin’s sister April Russell said, it just changes.
“Suicide can affect anyone’s family, you just hope it’s not yours,” April said. “All of our kids have grown up knowing Uncle Dustin. They know everything about him, they feel like he’s still part of our lives.”
The walk itself is about networking with others and educating the public on available resources. But at its heart, it’s about honoring — and remembering — the lives lost to suicide.
“It’s not all drugs or depression,” Vicki said. “It doesn’t have to be somebody with a mess of a life. We need to make sure that we get the message out there that there aren’t always signs, that the conversations need to be had more regularly because of it.”
To learn more about the walk, register to participate or learn about volunteering options, visit afspwalks.donordrive.com/FlatheadValley.
Reporter Kate Heston may be reached at 758-4459 or [email protected].
RESOURCES:
If you are in crisis, call or text the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.
Logan Behavioral Health: provides inpatient hospitalization for adults and adolescents. It is a short term, acute hospital. For more information about the referral process, please call (406) 756-3950.
Montana Department of Health and Human Services Suicide Prevention and Information and Resouces can be visited at dphhs.mt.gov/suicideprevention/suicideresources.
Embark Behavioral Health: an organization looking to reduce anxiety, depression and suicide rates among teens and young adults through personalized treatment plans. Call Embark at 406-854-1990.
Montana Veteran Affairs Division: Looks to support the needs of veterans, military members and their families. Offers a free text message service for people in crisis as well as a veterans crisis line. Text MT to 741-741 to receive support or visit dma.mt.gov/mvad/suicide-prevention.
Flathead County Crisis Assistance Team: Flathead County’s mobile crisis response team, working alongside law enforcement through 911 calls.
Nate Chute Foundation: a non-profit that offers community programs, school programs, referrals to services and more to promote mental wellness and reduce suicide. Get connected at natechutefoundation.org/.
Tamarack Grief Resource Center: offers therapeutic, nature-based programs to help individuals navigate grief and loss through counseling, grief camps, retreats, support groups and education. More information can be found at tamarackgrc.org/
SOLAS 406: an informal peer-to-peer support group for survivors of suicide through the Nate Chute Foundation. Questions on the program can be sent to [email protected].
Bluebird Box: a program through the Nate Chute Foundation that sends resources, information and comfort to survivors. To request a box, visit natechutefoundation.org/ncf-bluebird-box.html.
Braveheart Chaplin Ministry: a ministry that responds to traumatic situations to provide emotional, logistic and spiritual support while also working alongside first responders. Call 406-871-0183.