“Now, some naysayers may argue that this administration’s speech concerns are merely a cynical ploy, a thin gruel of a ruse, a smokescreen to obscure an unprecedented consolidation of power and unitary intimidation; principle-less and coldly antithetical to any experiment in a constitutional republic governance. Some people would say that. Not me, though. I think it’s great.” — JON STEWART
“You may call it ‘free speech’ in jolly-old England, but in America, we have a little something called the First Amendment, and let me tell you how it works: There’s something called a Talent-o-Meter. It’s a completely scientific instrument that is kept on the president’s desk, and it tells the president when a performers’ T.Q. — talent quotient, measured mostly by niceness to the president — goes below a certain level, at which point the F.C.C. must be notified to threaten the acquisition prospects for billion-dollar mergers of network affiliates. These affiliates are then asked to give ultimatums to the even-larger mega-corporation that controls the flow of state-approved content, or the F.C.C. can just choose to threaten those licenses directly. It’s basic science. Read your Constitution.” — JON STEWART
“I just want to say, before we get started here, that I’ve always admired and respected Mr. Trump. I’ve always believed he was — [responding to audience laughter] no, no, no — a visionary, an innovator, a great president, an even better golfer. And if you’ve ever seen me say anything negative about him, that’s just A.I.” — SETH MEYERS
“And, may I just say, it is a privilege and an honor to call Jimmy Kimmel my friend in the same way that it’s a privilege and honor to do this show every night. I wake up every day, I count my blessings that I live in a country that at least purports to value freedom of speech, and we’re going to keep doing our show the way we’ve always done it with enthusiasm and integrity.” — SETH MEYERS
“I still have a show, though, right? OK, good!” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“And to Jimmy, just let me just say I stand with you and your staff 100 percent. And also, you couldn’t let me enjoy this for, like, one week?” — STEPHEN COLBERT, holding up his recently won Emmy
“But, of course they are freaking out. They’ve gotten so used to getting a free pass for the propaganda. But times have changed. Charlie changed them. His death has reset this country, and now people are actually paying attention to their words because we saw what those words did to a fine young man.” — GREG GUTFELD
“Usually when Kimmel mentions new lows, he’s discussing his ratings. But this time that rock-bottom was in his soul, lying about an assassination to project his own hateful fantasies. Now he has time for a new fantasy: imagining he has a TV show.” — GREG GUTFELD
“Or take my advice: Do a live show — hold an outdoor rally and invite everyone. That’s what Charlie would do. But I get it: You’re not Charlie, you’re not even close. Maybe it’s just better to stay in studio with metal detectors and security.” — GREG GUTFELD