By Lakshana N Palat
Copyright gulfnews
How do you keep a friendship alive in adulthood?Moreover, how do you show up for your friends and yourself simultaneously while battling overwhelming work loads, household responsibilities, chores, bills and just trying to get a good night’s sleep? It does get mind-numbing and painful, even more so, when you realise that sometimes, the closest friendships in your childhood and teenage have slipped away. You’re trying to hold on to what you have in adulthood.It often feels like a battle with yourself, a daily struggle to keep the waves of work, emails, and life at bay. Some friendships get swept away in the tide. Other times, without even realising it, our own habits push even the most promising friendships away.There’s no manual for navigating messy friendships, but after several conversations with psychologists, we’ve gathered a few insights. Here are seven habits that might be hurting you — and your friends — more than you realise..8 everyday habits that are secretly sabotaging your happiness and how to fix them.Serial ghosting actDisappearing for weeks and then popping back with a “Hey how are you?” can be confusing. Indeed, life gets busy, but when your new friend feels like they’re in a one-sided friendship, waiting for you to reply, resentment brews. Ghosting might feel like the easiest way to avoid uncomfortable conversations, but it slowly chips away at trust — and trust is the oxygen of any good friendship. If you’re going through something, just at least try to let them know that you won’t be there for a bit..Venting, endlessly Friendship is about sharing, yes. But if conversation turns into a painful conversation about the latest existential crisis, it does get a lot. Constant venting can put your friend in the position of an unpaid therapist, and that slowly starts to burn them out. Healthy friendships need balance — sometimes talk about your day, sometimes talk about theirs..Being perpetually MIA We get it, you’re busy — we all are. But if you’re always ‘too swamped’ to reply, too tired to meet up, and never the one making plans, you’re sending a message: “This friendship is not a priority.” Friendships need effort. If you wouldn’t ignore a work email for two weeks straight (even from your most boring colleague), don’t do it to your friend..The victim mindset Life throws curveballs at everyone, but being stuck in “why does this always happen to me?” mode can be emotionally exhausting for the person listening. There’s a difference between sharing struggles and staying permanently in the victim mindset. If every conversation leaves your friend feeling like they need some time off, you need to step back. .Enabling toxic patterns, yours and theirs If you’re always the fixer, the rescuer, the one saying ‘Don’t worry, I’ll handle it,’ pause. Constantly swooping in to solve someone else’s mess doesn’t make you a hero — it just locks you in a cycle where you feel drained and they stay stuck. Adult friendships thrive when both people can stand on their own two feet (with the occasional lean, of course)..7 ways you’re triggering fights in your relationship – and how to fix them together.Red flags in disguise: Seven ‘good’ habits that could quietly destroy your relationship.Being extra-available We talk a lot about ghosting, but being too available can be just as suffocating. Replying instantly to every text, cancelling other plans just to be there for them, or feeling guilty if you don’t respond right away can create a dynamic where your entire mood depends on their attention. Friendship shouldn’t feel like a part-time job with overtime shifts. Forgetting to set boundaries This is the friendship dealbreaker — not just for them, but for you. When you let people overstep, ignore your needs, or make you feel like you’re on-call 24/7, resentment builds up fast. Boundaries are not barriers; they’re the fences that keep your friendship garden thriving. Communicate clearly, say no when you need to, and protect your peace..Can you make a close friend in the workplace?.How many types of friends do you really need in your life? .Do you collect friends or cultivate real connections? How to build deeper friendships.Do you feel invisible at work? How to fight the office loneliness
