By A Psychologis,Contributor,Mark Travers

Copyright forbes

When loneliness becomes your constant companion, your own thoughts might be unreliable, changing how you see the world and how you think others see you.

Have you ever felt surrounded by people but still completely alone? You might have felt that persistent, sometimes even nagging feeling that you’re disconnected or unfulfilled, even with others around. This is what loneliness can feel like.

Although it’s easy to confuse them, feeling lonely isn’t the same as being alone, which is social isolation. Social isolation is more about how many people you actually interact with, while loneliness is about how you feel about those interactions.

There is a fine line between the two, and that makes all the difference. You can have friends, family and coworkers around you and still feel profoundly disconnected. Or you can spend days alone and feel perfectly content. Loneliness is less about the number of people in your life and more about the quality of connection your brain perceives.

Loneliness Has Been On The Rise

So why does loneliness seem to be increasing? It seems to be becoming a global concern now. According to Gallup’s 2023 survey, over one in five people worldwide (23%) reported feeling lonely “a lot of the day yesterday.” Modern life tends to play a big role in this.

A 2023 large cross-cultural study examined how different cultural values influence feelings of loneliness. Researchers studied this across 28 countries with over 8000 participants. They focused on different forms of individualism and collectivism.

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Participants reported their levels of loneliness and researchers tested whether these cultural orientations predicted loneliness beyond basic factors like age and sex.

The findings showed that people who value egalitarian relationships, whether individually or within a group, tended to feel less lonely, while those who value competition or hierarchical structures reported feeling more lonely.

This highlights how cultural attitudes toward social relationships can subtly shape emotional experiences like loneliness.

Today, despite being so digitally connected, many people report feeling emotionally disconnected. While technology facilitates constant communication, it often lacks the depth of face-to-face interactions.

Individualism, Modernization And Loneliness Are Linked

Another major reason for the rise in loneliness is that societies are seeing a rise in individualism, and research backs this up. Researchers of this cross-cultural study examined whether the world is becoming more individualistic and what factors might explain this trend.

They analyzed 51 years of data on cultural practices and values related to individualism across 78 countries, making it one of the largest and longest cross-cultural analyses on this topic.

The results showed that individualism has increased in most societies, though the degree of change varied across nations. Importantly, even with this global rise, large and cultural differences remain.

Some societies are still much more collectivist than others. The study also tested explanations for these changes. Socioeconomic development (e.g., higher education levels, urbanization and wealth) was found to be the strongest predictor of rising individualism. Other factors like pathogen prevalence and natural disaster frequency played a smaller but still measurable role.

As people move to cities for better opportunities, they often leave behind established social networks, which makes it challenging to form new and meaningful relationships. In cases of financial stress, demanding work schedules or the sense of increased competition, it can make it harder to prioritize and maintain social bonds.

This can unintentionally deprioritize investment in deepening relationships. This shift can also be seen in the change in family and household structures. This is a contributing factor because smaller families can sometimes reduce the daily emotional support individuals once relied on.

Loneliness Can Make You More Paranoid

Many times, when you feel lonely, your thoughts can start to turn against you. In many ways, loneliness can actively shape how your brain interprets social information. When you’re lonely, your mind might become hyper-alert to social threats, possibly a leftover survival mechanism from when humans depended on group cohesion to stay safe.

A July 2025 study explored exactly how both loneliness and social isolation affect paranoid thinking in everyday life. The research followed over 3,000 people over six to seven months. They measured cognitive biases, social and subjective cognitive problems and paranoid thoughts. They tested how loneliness and social isolation might trigger paranoia and whether certain cognitive mechanisms, like sensitivity to rejection or misreading others’ intentions, might play a role.

From the results, it can be well concluded that loneliness emerged as the strongest predictor of paranoid thoughts. Feeling lonely wasn’t just associated with paranoia but also actively fed it, creating a two-way cycle or, more like, a self-perpetuating loop. Lonely people tend to became more paranoid, and paranoid thoughts can make them feel even lonelier.

Social isolation, on the other hand, influenced paranoia mostly indirectly, by increasing feelings of loneliness first.

Crucially, the study found that cognitive processes, referring to how you interpret and respond to social cues, mediated this effect. It’s how your brain processes these experiences that can turn loneliness into a more suspicious and self-protective inner dialogue.

Loneliness quite literally changes the very way you talk to yourself by subtly nudging your mind toward paranoia. The impact of loneliness on paranoid thinking often shows up as ideas of reference rather than full-blown persecutory thoughts.

As Professor Błażej Misiak, author of this study, explained to me in a recent interview, “Ideas of reference are thoughts like, ‘That conversation across the room is about me’ or ‘That advert seems personally relevant.’” They’re different from persecutory thoughts like, ‘People are trying to harm me.’ We found loneliness was more strongly linked with these subtle, self-referential ideas.”

“One possible reason is that when people feel isolated, they become highly self-focused and attuned to signals of belonging or exclusion. That may draw them into interpreting unrelated events as personally meaningful, without necessarily assuming hostile intent,” Misiak adds.

This hyper-alertness can make you more likely to misread neutral interactions as negative, and feel like others are judging you or that you’re being excluded even when no one intends it.

Your inner dialogue may shift subtly at first. You might find yourself replaying conversations, questioning your worth or anticipating rejection before it even happens. These patterns can often lead you to spiral or even reinforce a sense of disconnection.

Find Your Circle And Appreciate The One You Have

While loneliness can subtly twist your thoughts toward paranoia, the good news is that there are ways to break this cycle.

“On the individual level, therapies that target social cognition — like cognitive-behavioral approaches addressing rejection sensitivity — can help people reframe ambiguous social situations. Daily habits such as structured social activities, volunteering or group hobbies can also reduce isolation in a safe way. At a societal level, reducing stigma and creating inclusive community spaces matter too. Ultimately, interventions that build trusting connections may be one of the best ways to reduce both loneliness and paranoia,” Misiak suggests.

A practical first step is to return to simpler ways of connecting with others. Prioritize appreciating the relationships you already have and strengthening them. Check in with friends or family and make time to share meaningful moments with them. Even a short weekly call or coffee can strengthen your emotional bonds.

Join communities, clubs or interest-based groups. This can also help you feel part of something larger than yourself. Shared activities like hobbies or group classes help you bond over something you love doing, rather than just conversation. Approach new social situations with curiosity rather than suspicion.

When you invest in existing relationships, or put effort into building new ones, it doesn’t just benefit you; it adds to the well-being of others too.

Every shared moment strengthens a sense of belonging and helps your mind feel safer and more grounded in knowing you’re not alone.

How socially connected have you been feeling lately? Take this science-backed test to find out: Social Connectedness Scale

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