These may be some of the worst episodes of The Office, but they still have some great quotes. There are always those episodes of The Office that most people skip on rewatch. With nine seasons and 201 episodes, they’re not all going to be winners, and you have to take “The Bankers” with “The Dundies”.
However, just because these are the worst episodes, it doesn’t mean that they don’t have good bits or quotes. In fact, a few of these episodes have whole B-plots that are worth tuning into. You might be surprised to find out which episodes of The Office these memorable lines actually came from.
“For The Record? Not On Board With Fake Stanley… Although, I Get It.” – Pam Beesley
The Banker (Season 6, Episode 14)
“The Banker” is far and away one of the worst episodes of The Office, mostly by virtue of it being a clip show. This episode of The Office is not one of those clever ones that switch up the format; it’s a collage of scenes from past, better episodes of The Office. “The Banker” does begin with an amusing lead-in.
Michael (Steve Carell) is now the highest-ranking member of Dunder Mifflin, and his idea to impress an investment banker is to ride around on a Segway, have Dwight (Rainn Wilson) pretend to be a supercomputer, and replace Stanley (Leslie David Baker) with a younger, happier black man. As Pam (Jenna Fischer) says, it’s not great, but perhaps necessary.
“Stop Talking ‘Bout It. I Said I’m Fine With It.” – Darryl Philbin
Couples Discount (Season 9, Episode 15)
In “Couples Discount”, Andy (Ed Helms) returns a day early from his three-month excursion, much to the annoyance of everyone in the office. It’s an eye-rolling ending to one of the worst character arcs in The Office. However, the B-story of the office pairing up on Valentine’s Day to get couples discounts at the mall is fun.
After everyone finds a partner, Oscar (Oscar Nunez) asks Darryl (Craig Robinson) if he’d like to pretend to be his date. Darryl tries to act like he’s cool with the idea, but hilariously snaps when Oscar continues talking to him. It’s a highly relatable response for anyone who’s trying to talk themselves into something.
“One Thing About Me, I Am Better At Hiding Than They Are… At Vision.” – Dwight Schrute
The Alliance (Season 1, Episode 4)
The first six episodes of The Office can be a bit hard to go back to. The series was still finding its footing and didn’t totally grasp what the show should be or how the characters should ask. “The Alliance” is a strange one, with Roy (David Denman) pushing Jim (John Krasinski) and accusing him of “copping a feel”.
There are a few highlights in the episode, including Dwight explaining to the camera that he is an excellent deer hunter. I’m not sure why, but one thing about deer, apparently, is that they have good vision. Realizing he needs to explain why that’s not a problem, Dwight simply explains he’s better than their vision.
“Why Is Jim Treating The Magician Poorly?” – Robert California
Welcome Party (Season 8, Episode 20)
Robert California (James Spader) is such a hilarious addition to The Office that he manages to take some of the sting away from the first season post-Michael Scott. However, his presence alone can’t save some episodes, particularly the ones toward the end of season 8, before Nellie (Catherine Tate) had her season 9 redemption.
In “Welcome Party”, Dunder Mifflin is preparing to throw Nellie an awful party, including a magician, because of how much they dislike her. After discovering some sad parts about her past, Jim decides to save her the embarrassment and taunts the magician, eliciting this confused, almost curious line from Robert.
“Well, Andy’s Cute, But He’s Too Vanilla, Whereas Pete – He’s Just One Sick Dude. I Mean, You Know This Guy Likes To Get Weird.” – Phyllis Lapin
Customer Loyalty (Season 9, Episode 12)
While there are plenty of frustrating storylines in season 9, having Jim and Pam separated and Andy on his weird adventure does leave more room for other characters in The Office to get their moments. Take “Customer Loyalty”, which begins the annoying Brian the boom guy arc (Chris Diamantopoulos).
The B-plot involves Nellie realizing she’s accidentally spurred on the growing attention between Erin (Ellie Kemper) and Pete (Jake Lacy). As is common in The Office, everyone wants to give their opinions on the relationship. Phyllis’ (Phyllis Smith) line comes out of nowhere and is so weirdly specific and hip that it makes me laugh every time.
“Who Tipped You Over? Was It Phillip?” – Dwight Schrute
Café Disco (Season 5, Episode 27)
I find Café Disco to be a very boring episode. Michael feels like he’s on his own for most of it, and the B-plot about Pam and Jim eloping loses its punch when you know they aren’t going to end up doing it by the end. There are definitely some funny moments, though, including Phyllis throwing out her back.
Michael immediately calls Dwight, who mishears him and thinks he said “Phillip”, which is just a hilarious way to mishear Phyllis’ name. What’s even funnier is that Dwight is still sure he heard Phillip despite seeing Phyllis, and he’s convinced that there’s some man running around tipping people like they are cows.
“Nothing Is Mutua– This Isn’t Very Helpful. You’re Gonna Want To Hear The Sexual Metaphor.” – Robert California
Get The Girl (Season 8, Episode 19)
“Get the Girl” is an extremely frustrating episode with Andy going to Florida to retrieve Erin in a convoluted and boring plot line, and it also has Nellie arrive to steal Andy’s job. It makes no sense and is very frustrating. We do, however, get one of Robert California’s funniest lines out of the episode, though.
Robert offers to give Jim a nature or a sexual metaphor, to which Jim responds, “Oh god, nature, please”. Robert’s nature metaphor is just a sexual one with animals, which he stops halfway through and just does the sexual one. He then asks Jim if that was so bad, implying Robert recognizes how sex-obsessed he can be.
“F*ck Me” – Kelly Kapoor
The Sting (Season 7, Episode 5)
“The Sting” is not exactly one of the worst episodes of The Office, but it showcases some of the tendencies that define bad episodes of The Office: a celebrity guest star, an unlikely situation, and the office employees not interacting in the same scene together. There are a lot of hilarious lines, though.
Danny Cordray (Timothy Olyphant) is a talented, handsome salesman who makes everyone at Dunder Mifflin either jealous or smitten. When Michael announces he’s hired Danny, Kelly Kapoor (Mindy Kaling) dreamily says the above out loud to everyone’s shock and/or agreement. Bleeps in The Office are always funny, but this one may be the best.
“Gum’s Gotten Mintier Lately, Have You Noticed?” – Nate Nickerson
Vandalism (Season 9, Episode 14)
Nate Nickerson (Mark Proksch) is one of the best late-period additions to The Office. Dwight’s strange lackey and then warehouse worker seem to struggle with anything requiring active listening, decision-making, and even basic cognition. “Vandalism” is one of the worst episodes of The Office, but Nate makes it better.
While trying to figure out who defaced her mural, Pam and Dwight interrogate Nate. In exchange for his cooperation, Dwight offers him gum. Never one to censor himself, Nate notes how gum has gotten mintier. After a brief pause, Dwight and Pam continue on with their line of questioning.
“When I Discovered YouTube, I Didn’t Work For Five Days.” – Michael Scott
Business Ethics (Season 5, Episode 3)
“Business Ethics” is not the worst episode of The Office, but it is the worst episode with the funniest line. This is an early Holly Flax (Amy Ryan) episode and feels like a filler episode that’s both too serious about how Holly is trying to uncover waste, and too absurd, with Meredith’s (Kate Flannery) “steak” for a paper deal.
While everyone is admitting how they’ve wasted time in one way or another, Michael offers a very revealing piece of information that when he discovered YouTube, he did nothing for five days. He’s 100% not exaggerating, and it makes me laugh just imagining his slack-jawed expression as he rewatches the “Numa Numa” video and “Chocolate Rain” on repeat.