By The Spinoff

Copyright thespinoff

We taste tested them all, and the results may shock you – or at least convince you to try branching out.

The Spinoff hasn’t ranked pies since 2018. “The spiritual home of the New Zealand pie is the humble petrol station,” we wrote way back then. And while bakery influencers and artisanal pies have majorly entered the chat since, we feel that that sentiment still rings true. Petrol station pies also underpin another cultural concept: the classic road trip. And while the cars we road trip in change, the joy of scoffing a pie while refuelling (or charging your EV) along the way, does not.

Needless to say, when the opportunity came to try every single Z pie, it wasn’t hard to compel our writers away from their monitors and into the lunchroom to do what they do best: rank them all. Our methods were simple yet sound: we popped down to Z, got three of every pie flavour, raced back to the office, cut each pie into quarters, and let the team loose to sample and vote. Coke was the palate cleanser, plain potato chips were the control, and the floor was soon blanketed in pastry flakes. After the feeding frenzy, every tester voted for their 1st, 2nd and 3rd picks. Votes were weighted accordingly and counted.

No pie was singularly loved or loathed by all, and some tasters had wildly different experiences of the same pie. There were gourmet, classic, vegan and limited edition contenders. And the results were surprising, shocking even. While steak and cheese is Z’s best seller, and probably your usual, it did not win. So while it’s risky to try a new flavour when you’re standing in front of a warmer seeking instant gratification, our data indicates it’s a risk worth taking. Next time you’re filling up, or charging your EV at Z, pop in and grab a pie. These are all the flavours ranked from our least to most favourite.

10= Classic vegan mince and cheese

You don’t want to mess with the mince and cheese pie. A whole food group in and of itself, the mince and cheese pie is at its best the pinnacle of dependable, sustaining and satisfying. And so it was shocking to discover that this mince and cheese pie, which I thought upon tasting met precisely those criteria across its three constituent elements (pastry, mince, cheese), was in fact a diversion from the norm. It was a vegan mince and cheese pie. It would be an unforgivable betrayal except that it was yum. I felt swindled but also impressed. Critically though, no one liked this pie enough to vote for it. / Toby Manhire

“I don’t want to try it.” – Cécile

10= Classic potato top

This was the second pie I tried so a) I was still hungry, b) I hadn’t started sweating yet and c) it was still hot. All factors in its favour. Some might have wanted more meat, but I thought the ratio was correct, for a petrol station pie. Two parts potato, one part mince. The potato was both fluffy (inside) and crispy (outside), and I was genuinely impressed that it had come from a real Z pie warmer. Could have done with some peas and carrots, but maybe I was so hungry that I just didn’t notice them. Shepherd’s pie for the shepherd on the go. / Ben Fagan

“Way too much potato on the top. It’s yum, but I don’t like the ratio.” – Mad

9. Gourmet bacon and egg

The bacon and egg pie is an underdog. Many people in your life will scoff at the choice, perhaps rightly so. And when you’re eating half a dozen different pies in a warm office, sure, maybe bacon and egg wouldn’t score a podium finish. But when you’re an hour into a seven-hour road trip and need breakfast that won’t become a health hazard in a moving vehicle, or while you’re sitting there charging your EV, the bacon and egg pie is your saviour. This one was dense, without even the standard air pocket expected under the lid of all pies. All egg, all bacon, no gelatine burns on your lap. / Mad Chapman

“Really heavy on the egg, [but] I like egg.” – Te Aihe

“This protein ratio though – really good for gains.” – Isaiah

8. Classic steak and cheese

It’s hard to beat a classic. Second only to mince and cheese in terms of popularity, a good steak and cheese pie can turn even the worst day into a not-so-bad one. A nice thick crust holds this one all together, with a flaky top and soft, buttery inside. The chunks of steak are tender but hold their texture, while the flavoursome gravy is not too loose. The cheese is present but not overpowering. Overall, it’s a Kiwi classic done well. / Liam Rātana

“It lives up to its name.” – Guy

7. Gourmet butter chicken

A chicken pie from a petrol station pie warmer feels like the kind of risk I’m not normally willing to take. But if there’s one thing I learnt from chomping my way through the entire Z range it’s that this petrol station knows how to make a good chicken pie. Their butter chicken boasts generous and succulent chunks of meat in a sauce that’s closer to a homemade butter chicken than the rich and creamy restaurant version – disappointing at first bite, maybe, but by the last bite it all made sense. / Calum Henderson

“Tastes like it’s from an actual curry shop, generous with the chicken.” – Sophie

“I greatly enjoyed this one, but at the shop I would be paralysed by choice and end up getting mince and cheese.” – Anna

6. Classic creamy chicken (new)

I really gobbled this one up and emerged as the somewhat lone champion of this pie. If I had to eat a pie everyday, it’d be this one. I grew up eating a lot of chicken pies, and I must say, taking a bite out of this one reminded me why it’s a classic. How can you fault that distinct classic creamy chicken flavour that feels like being warm and cosy at home on a Sunday evening sitting by the fire? The filling was delicate, and every bite was seasoned with herbs. I would recommend eating this piping hot. / Isaiah Tour

“This pie has a niche audience. Not my vibe.” – Tina

“I want leeks in this.” – Liam

5. Gourmet peppered steak

I am not an unbiased sampler of this pie, I am deep in the peppered steak pie fandom. I know the lore and the one-off characters. I’ve edited the Wikipedia page. I’ve been to its birthplace. This pie’s steak-to-gravy ratio was heavier on the side of the latter, but the taste of pepper was strong and pleasant. The gravy (and it was all gravy) was creamy, the pastry was flaky. One bite and I was transported to the driver’s seat, cruising down State Highway 2, with a lap full of pastry and a heart full of dreams. / Ben Fagan

“Nice amount of pepper.” – Liv

“This is one of my normal orders and I’d be very happy eating it.” – Te Aihe

4. Classic mince and cheese

It’s all in the name here – classic mince and cheese. Classic? Check. Mince? Check. Cheese? Check. Liam said the cheese tasted too fake, but isn’t that what you’d want in a classic mince and cheese pie? You know you can always trust a place if they know how to do the classics well and this one delivered. / Jin Fellet

“I am actually returning to the mince and cheese plate for more.” – Sophie

“The strong cheese flavour in this one mixes nicely with the gravy.” – Liam

2= Gourmet cheeseburger pie

You had me at “cheeseburger”. The delicately fresh pastry encasing this melange of beef, special cheesy mustard sauce and pickles provided a wholesome alternative to the classic cheeky drive-thru cheeseburger. On top of that, the filling-to-pastry ratio was spot on. No spills, even with one-handed bites, and no sauce on my chinos. This is more than a pie; it’s a morsel for the innovators out there. Maybe midnight cheeseburgers in the car park are out and cheeseburger pies in the EV charging bay are in. / Guy Annan

“This really smells like a cheeseburger.” – Gemma

“I’m a saucy gal, and I like crunch, so it’s all there for me.” – Tina

2= Gourmet vegan pepper ‘shroom

Is it OK for a non-vegan to get the vegan option? A moral dilemma that has for me always been purely hypothetical… until now. Enter: the vegan pepper ‘shroom pie. That’s a lot of words to say what it really is: a mushroom pie that if I didn’t know any better would have thought came from the cabinet at a posh cafe or even the deli of a boutique supermarket chain. Mushroom and pastry dishes have had some pretty negative publicity this year, but this pie is a timely reminder of how good the pairing can be when done right. / Calum Henderson

“This is no good.” – Liam

“Gives you everything you want, even without meat.” – Gemma

1. Gourmet Thai chicken curry (limited time offer)

There’s only one thing riskier than a novelty pie and that’s a novelty pie that raids another culture’s playbook. As a culinary purist, normally I’d be clutching my tiny whisks, screaming “Sacrilege!” Thai green curry is part of my day-after-the-night-before recovery arsenal but when you’re nursing yesterday’s decisions, traditional curry is a faff. Who wants to piss about with chunky vegetables, rice and utensils? A pie is basically a handheld bowl, and to my surprise, the perfect receptacle for a curry. The chicken is tender, the veggies are there, but chopped small, and the sauce is outstanding. The proper amount of heat, a hint of sweetness and zero spillage on your shame pyjamas. This pie is an innovation and a revelation, and I bought another one with my own money last Thursday night. / Anna Rawhiti-Connell

“Nice amount of heat, good flavour, real vegetables.” – Gemma

“Has the perfect level of heat, just the right amount, it’s a proper curry pie.” – Toby

Now thinking a pie might be the go for lunch tomorrow? Head to a Z public charger to top up your EV and grab your favourite flavour or a new one you never would’ve thought to try.