By Jane O’gorman

Copyright dailystar

If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further. Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice. From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down. If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published. Check out some of Jane’s top recent advice: ‘Cocky lover’s wife looks like a supermodel – so why is he having grubby sex with me?’ ‘I can’t keep my hands off best mate’s hubby – I’m scared I’ll bonk him on group holiday’ ‘Wild swinging neighbours keep offering to give my girl a good servicing’ I adore my feisty flatmate. The problem is that she takes advantage of my willing nature. She works as an exotic dancer at a table dancing club on the other side of town. She does the (topless) early evening show and then stays on to perform private dances for as long as the punters are paying. The club is near a couple of football grounds, and they get a lot of fans in on match days. She can make a fortune in tips and loves flaunting her body and putting on a sexy display. I don’t judge her. I’m proud of her for being a financially independent woman who knows her own worth and mind. But I just wish that she’d give me a chance to prove myself as her full-time boyfriend. My mates say she ‘gets me at it’. It’s true that she frequently rings me to meet her from work at 2am. The club lay on a taxi but she likes to walk in order to clear her head. She doesn’t like to walk alone so I’m called upon to rock up. Back at the flat I run her an oily bath and we chat about her night. Just seeing her glossy naked body stretched out in the water turns me on like nothing else. She touches herself all over and teases me. She can tell that I’m turned on, and half suggests sex, but then snatches the moment away by telling me to ‘get out’. I’m left feeling deflated and ugly. We’ve never had sex in the two years I’ve known her. During the week I cook her meals, wash her clothes and organise her paperwork alongside my full-time job in local government. I’m her willing, personal slave. But when do I start enjoying a few well-earned benefits? JANE SAYS: I get the impression that your tricky flatmate has dumped you in the category of ‘facilitator’. You basically run and facilitate her life. You cook her food, deal with her boring admin and keep her safe. Any time she wants something done she snaps her fingers, and you come running. She has you by the short and curlies. You’re dazzled by her beauty and her lust for life her but what does she ever do for you? Why are you cooking and cleaning and running around after the woman? How is that your job? She’s your flatmate, nothing more. You might admire her but surely you need to take a step back and start seeing her for the user and tease she really is. Your life is precious, not something to be trifled with or frittered away. Every minute you spend pandering to her ego could be spent with someone who actually fancies and cares for you. You deserve respect and affection. She a time thief, an energy vampire and a user. She’ll say and do anything to make life easier for herself and get her own way. I think you need to accept that she’s not interested in ever having sex with you because if she were, then it would have happened by now. Start listening to your friends who can clearly see her for what she is. Give yourself a good talking to and find somewhere new to live – that is miles out her toxic orbit. I don’t know if I can speak to my ungrateful friends again. I recently organised a holiday in a rented house by the sea – and all they did was moan. They complained the town was too boring (no nightclubs) and were disappointed that I hadn’t laid on fun entertainment like a male stripper. I cooked, provided fizz and did all the setting up and clearing away, yet two friends still haven’t paid me back. In fact, one ‘mate’ is point blank refusing to cough up because she lost her bag in a pub and blames me. Another has said the trip was a huge disappointment and waste of time. We were simply supposed to be chilling out but they expect fireworks every time. How are people so ungrateful and mean? JANE SAYS: Don’t allow this episode to dampen your spirits or bring you down. You’re clearly a pro-active and imaginative person and the fun doesn’t have to end here. Resolve to hang out with different people in future; people who have a more positive attitude and are on the same wavelength. I suspect you outgrew this old bunch a long time again. Sadly, some people are never satisfied and will always find fault. I suggest you front up the two non-payers – face to face – and shame them into doing the right thing. Say you’ll accept monthly repayments, if necessary, but stand your ground. My bloke is drinking himself insane. He goes to the pub from work and gets home after 10pm. Every weekend, he goes on a 48-hour bender and crashes out with mates. I accept that he works hard (in the building trade) but why does he have to play so hard too? I love him but don’t understand what drives him. JANE SAYS: As well as harming his mental and physical health, your boyfriend’s drinking also excludes you. When do you ever see him for conversation, fun or love? I can’t imagine your sex life is up to much when he’s permanently pickled. How much money is he spending? Insist he visits his GP, while you consider your future with this man. I worry he’s stopped seeing and considering you.