Dear Eric: I have a friend who has moved several states away but comes back to visit at least once a year.
She has many friends in this area, and I know she is busy trying to fit us all into her schedule. When she and I meet for lunch at a local higher end restaurant, we have a couple of drinks, and she always orders steak. We’ve been doing this for 10 years.
I started off with picking up the tab. Wouldn’t you think at least one time she would offer to pick up the tab? I know I would if the shoe were on the other foot. It’s not a big thing for me. Just wondering what you think.
– Free Lunch
Dear Lunch: Yes, I certainly would have offered at least once in 10 years. Maybe twice. You and your friend have fallen into a pattern and you’re going to need to be direct to reset it. Ask her, “would you mind getting lunch this time?” The unspoken part can be “because I got the last 10 times.”
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Dear Eric: I read and enjoy your column every day. I’m writing about the supervisor who stepped into the role where the work culture needed to change in order to have success, but the new supervisor was getting pushback for any change he/she tried to implement.
I worked in managerial roles for most of my professional life (almost 50 years). I have been asked over the years to step into a leadership role to improve the work situations. My advice, that has always been successful for me, is to empower your staff. Sit down with each one separately and ask them what improvements they see are needed and what suggestions they have.
Meet with them one-on-one frequently. Make them part of the solution and not just the problem. This approach has always been successful for me, earned the respect of my staff and enabled me to turn departments from failure to success … with a happy and engaged staff!
– Happy Supervisor
Dear Supervisor: Love this advice! And it underscores an important idea for every kind of relationship – communication is key.