By The Onion Staff
Copyright theonion
Baseball, Sports
A’s Fans Unable To Sustain The Wave Over Chasm Of 7,000 Empty Seats
September 15, 2025
Giants Players Horrified To Learn Uniforms Have Names On Back
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Giants Players Horrified To Learn Uniforms Have Names On Back
Continued on next page
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Baseball, Sports
Minor League Play-By-Play Announcer Just Sounds Like Normal Guy
Trump: ‘Political Violence Has No Place In My Inner Circle’
Home Depot Garden Center Offering 1.5 Cubic Feet Of Squirrels
Stephen Miller’s Forehead Vein Lunges Out To Catch Passing Bird
Football, Sports
Micah Parsons Unnerved By Deafening Roar Of 80,000 Packers Fans Catching Breath
Mourners Unaware They Burying Knockoff Giorgio Armani
Mailman Too Old To Be Out There
Entertainment
Taylor Swift Spoils Travis Kelce For Anniversary By Cracking Egg Over His Kibble
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MLB News In Photos Vol 61: Issue 38
Bombshell ‘Wall Street Journal’ Investigation Finds Tyler Robinson Once Had Trans Uber Driver
The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Gavin Newsom
Entertainment
Charli XCX, George Daniel Gather Wedding Guests To Cut The Coke
Desperate Kash Patel Asks Shooter’s Family If They Can Solve Any Other Cases