Taylor Swift fans are still debating the meaning behind her new song “Ruin the Friendship” from her 12th album, The Life of a Showgirl.
“Ruin the Friendship” is track 6 on the record, which was released Friday, October 3. When Swift announced the song titles for Showgirl, some fans were immediately convinced the track would be about Swift, 35, taking distance from longtime pal Blake Lively. (Swift was brought into the conversation regarding Lively’s sexual assault lawsuit against her It Ends With Us costar and director, Justin Baldoni, after her song “My Tears Ricochet” was featured in the 2024 film.)
Instead, fans were given an emotional and heartfelt ballad seemingly about Swift’s high school friend Jeff Lang, who overdosed in 2010 after suffering from mental health struggles.
The first half of the sweet, summery song is a series of memories, seemingly from high school, when the pair would spend time together but hide their feelings for one another. Swift appears to express regret about not taking their friendship to the next level, singing, “It was not an invitation / But should have kissed you anyway / And it was not convenient / But your girlfriend was away / Should have kissed you anyway.”
The flowery recollections take a turn in the bridge, when Swift reveals she “lost track” of the song’s subject after graduation before her best friend Abigail Anderson Berard called “with the bad news.”
“Goodbye, and we’ll never know why,” she sings. “But I flew home anyway / With so much left to say / It was not convenient / But I whispered at the grave / Should have kissed you anyway.”
Swift traveled home to perform at Lang’s funeral in 2010 shortly after his death. She addressed the tragedy at the BMI Country Awards weeks later via a video message while accepting her win as Country Songwriter of the Year.
“It’s been a really emotional week for me,” she said before dedicating the award to Lang. “Yesterday, I sang at the funeral of one of my best friends. He was 21, and I used to play my songs for him first. So, I would like to thank Jeff Lang.”
When Swift released Red (Taylor’s Version) in 2023, fans connected her Vault Track “Forever Winter” to Lang, which described a friend battling depression and substance abuse. “Too young to know it gets better / I’ll be summer sun for you forever,” Swift promises on the song, which mirrors “Ruin the Friendship” melodically.
Swift previously announced the tracklist for the album on the “New Heights” podcast in August. The title “Ruin the Friendship” quickly sparked fan speculation about the inspiration for the song, with one person claiming, “I am CER-TAIN that ‘Ruin the Friendship’ on Taylor Swift’s new album is about Blake Lively.”
Swift and Lively, 38, were friends for a decade before the singer was dragged into the actress’ legal battle against her It Ends With Us director and costar, Justin Baldoni. After Lively accused Baldoni, 41, of sexual harassment and a smear campaign in December 2024, he subsequently claimed Lively used Swift to pressure him into accepting her ideas for their film. (Both parties have denied the opposing side’s allegations.)
“Taylor is very uncomfortable about being pulled into the lawsuit,” a source exclusively told Us Weekly in May. “It’s a huge thing now. Her friendship with Blake is strained.”
While Swift and Lively’s dynamic is not what it once was, the insider noted that not all hope was lost for their relationship moving forward.
“Taylor and Blake have spoken, and Blake [said she’s sorry],” the source said, adding that Swift was not holding a grudge. “Taylor is very forgiving, and in her eyes, she still considers Blake a friend. But the lawsuit is still ongoing, and until it’s resolved, [things are] difficult.”
While some fans believed Swift’s tension with Lively inspired her new song, the title hinted at another theme all along. The phrase “ruin the friendship” is often used to refer to two friends who jeopardize the platonic aspect of their relationship in an effort to pursue their romantic feelings.
When Swift announced The Life of a Showgirl in August, she hinted at the aspects of her life that influenced her new album, which she made during the European leg of her Eras Tour in 2024.
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“It just comes from the most infectiously joyful, wild, dramatic place I was in in my life, so that effervescence has come through on this record,” she shared on the podcast. “This album is about what was going on behind the scenes in my inner life during this tour, which was so exuberant and electric and vibrant.”
Swift further described her inspiration as “everything that was going on behind the curtain” for her during The Eras Tour.
“This album isn’t really about what happened to me on stage. It’s about what I was going through off stage,” she added. “It’s the life beyond the show.”