Dear Annie: I recently started a new job at a software company, and for the most part, I really like it. The work is interesting, my co-workers are friendly, and the company culture is a good fit for me. The only issue is my manager. She has a habit of micromanaging just about everything I do. She insists on reviewing emails before I send them, stands behind me while I’m working, and often corrects me on tasks I’ve already been trained on and feel confident doing.
I don’t think she’s being unkind. If anything, I think she’s trying to be helpful and make sure everything is done right. But it makes me feel like she doesn’t trust me or my abilities, which is frustrating. I want to do well and show that I’m capable, but I also don’t want to overstep or come across as ungrateful, especially since I’m still relatively new.
How can I ask for more independence and space to grow without sounding like I’m pushing back against her leadership? — Trying to Breathe
Dear Trying: That’s a tricky line to toe, especially as a new hire. But tricky doesn’t mean impossible; it just means you need to choose your wording carefully.
Next time she’s hovering, ask if you can take full ownership over the task at hand. Frame it as wanting to grow in your role, not push her out. If you deliver consistently, she should loosen her grip. If she doesn’t, it might be time for a more direct conversation.
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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
