By Jane O’gorman
Copyright dailystar
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further. Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice. From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down. If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published. Check out some of Jane’s top recent advice: ‘Cocky lover’s wife looks like a supermodel – so why is he having grubby sex with me?’ ‘I can’t keep my hands off best mate’s hubby – I’m scared I’ll bonk him on group holiday’ ‘Wild swinging neighbours keep offering to give my girl a good servicing’ I made an idiot of myself at a staff party by snogging a security guard and performing an intimate on a male temp in the toilets. Now colleagues are shunning me. I’ve been told I’m disgusting. I’m convinced my boss is biding his time and that I’m going to be made redundant and thrown out on my ear. On the day in question, I started drinking red wine at noon and fell into my boss’s office at 4pm for a presentation to celebrate the firm’s 10 th anniversary. Unfortunately, I heckled all throughout his speech and then tried to steal his glass desk lamp, which I dropped and smashed. After that I ran riot; dancing, singing and goosing colleagues until I was sick in a plant pot and sent home. Help. JANE SAYS: Have you formally apologised to your boss and everyone else you insulted and upset? Remember that excessive alcohol is never an excuse. Look at how much you are drinking and get support from your GP. As for your future within your firm, I suspect that’s to be decided. I’m surprised you haven’t already been hauled over the coals for inappropriate behaviour. If redundancies are looming, then you need to brace yourself for some challenging times ahead. Even if you do, somehow, escape the axe, you need to make sure you work your socks off, regain the respect of your co-workers and buckle down. We all like a laugh but you went too far. I can’t cope with being second best. My guy claims to adore me but I’m fully aware that I’m not the love of his life. That honour belongs to his childhood sweetheart. They met at 17 and dated for ten years. They split when she met and married a much older (and richer man). She now lives in New York. He came to me on the rebound. I know he still thinks about her all the time – and probably during sex too. How do I make him see me for the individual I am when in all other aspects he’s a generous, supportive guy? JANE SAYS: Sadly, you don’t feel you have his heart. Would he consider talking to a health professional regarding his inability to move on? Take yourself away and really think about what it is you want from the future. Many people would fight for the life you have but if it’s not enough, then you may have to think about cutting ties and moving on. Don’t do anything in haste; weigh up all the pros and cons and consider what life might be like as a single woman again. It could be that you’ll blossom with a new partner who gives you everything you desire. Our son has never introduced us to a single one of his girlfriends. He’s nearly 30 and says we’re too embarrassing. He claims his dates would feel overwhelmed by us; that we’re too nosy, chatty and full on. This upsets me greatly. His sister says his latest squeeze is lovely. What about us? JANE SAYS: Can you strike a deal with your son? Can you promise to stay chilled and calm around his current partner. Make the point that you’re not ogres and only wish for him to be happy. Is he ashamed of you? He’s not a kid and he needs to come clean about where you’re going wrong. Is he a snob? Are you genuinely embarrassing and inappropriate? What changes can you make?
