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This concept is also a critical part of the ground rules and gospel of all divorce lawyers, regardless of which side of the argument they happen to be on. No one who’s ever been there believes for a moment that these avaricious advocates can serve anyone’s interest but their own. The basic idea—after creating every delay possible in the proceedings and wringing all the fees possible out of their victims—is to get some closure so they can get on to their next case and never look back. For the perspective of any poor entrepreneur sucked into one of these seemingly endless negotiation sessions, there really isn’t any simple or foolproof way to avoid the mess. There is, however, one rule to absolutely keep top of mind throughout the entire process. The easier the deal is to get done, the harder it will be to implement. This is why it’s your basic job to be difficult when it matters, regardless of what your own attorneys argue or caution and notwithstanding all the pressure from everyone else in the room to just get things done. This is a difficult position to put yourself in and it takes a while and a few different attempts and contexts to develop the thick skin, blank stare, and willingness to ask the same questions over and over until you get a solid and clear answer to them. You need to forsake peace for truth telling. The price you pay for momentary peace is always too high. All of which is presently and painfully on display as the world watches Trump’s latest deluded lie about bringing peace to the Middle East fall apart in just days after it was touted and paraded everywhere. It was foolish, naïve and embarrassing for experienced negotiators and the public at large to think for a moment that an agreement with dozens of deferred terms and concessions including disarmament of Hamas and its expulsion from Gaza would ever come to pass in the absence of further military intervention. Once again, the Trump art of the deal turns out to be a fraud on us all. It appears that Putin’s not the only one to make a fool repeatedly of the Orange Monster. China’s leader, Xi Jinping, also just made Trump look like a clueless clown by giving back a small fraction of what China took away in exchange for major further concessions by Trump trying to save face as he backs away from a tariff battle that he stupidly started. But even this miserable example provides simple negotiating lessons for entrepreneurs in their own business dealings. There are a few simple steps to take early on in any negotiation in order to save time and money and significantly increase the likelihood that the ultimate arrangement will be one that you can live with. 1. Start at the end, not the beginning. Make it clear that certain basics are non-negotiable and that they are absolute requirements for getting any deal done. Don’t let these be deferred or glossed over. You should never deny your firmest convictions for the sake of peace and quiet. There is zero chance that Hamas will ever give up its weapons and only a fool would believe otherwise. They’ve said it before the ceasefire and now they’ve said it after the ceasefire—even going so far on TV as admitting that it’s only a “hudna” which means a pause. On the other hand, Mamdani campaigned for Mayor in the NYC primary on some very risky propositions and made some over-the-top promises and, to his credit, he has maintained those stances, for better or worse, and even doubled down on some which has made his position abundantly clear to all. 2. Stick to your guns and stand alone if necessary. Everyone in any meeting will have their own agenda, including the folks on your side and the professionals working for you. It’s rare that all these will be aligned. Open declarations and consistent clarity on your part will save everyone time. It’s far better to be an asshole in the moment and even risk the deal than to suffer years later with an agreement, terms, and conditions that you knew wouldn’t get the job done but settled for in order to keep the peace. Seeking consensus on aggressively contested points is more likely to lead to a mediocre outcome than to a happy ending. 3. Acknowledge that some deals just can never get done. Wishing, hoping and beating a dead horse aren’t ways to get where you want to go. Sometimes, you just can’t get there from here and it’s smart and prudent to acknowledge that as soon as it’s clear. If you sit there long enough, all that happens is that you get subjected to a constant stream of asks for compromises, small concessions, deferments or flat out give-ups—all in the name of good faith, false hopes and sharing the pain. It’s like being slowly pecked to death by a flock of angry geese. 4. Remember the rule of the slippery slope. Every negotiation contains a number of detours, rabbit holes, and slippery slopes which all need to be avoided. Detours and rabbit holes merely waste your time. Slippery slopes are outright dangerous because they’re inducements and invitations to settle various matters for everyone’s sake except your own. But even worse is the end result. You need to always remember the rule: the minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.
