Copyright BuzzFeed
Divorced People Who "Married The Wrong Person" Are Sharing The Moment They Knew, And Wow "After the kid was born. Total shift. Turns out, only I wanted to be a parent." Recently, I came across this Reddit thread asking, "When did you realize you married the wrong person?" and was so fascinated by the responses. Here are the most interesting ones: 1. "We were in the bathroom getting showered and dressed for a friend’s wedding. I was in the best shape of my life at the time, feeling good about myself, and I thought I looked good in that suit. She was finishing her makeup, and I remarked on how beautiful she looked. I waited for her to say something nice in reply, but she didn’t. And it just hit me. I couldn’t remember a single time that she complimented me on my appearance." "So, I said that to her. I said, 'You know, I always tell you how beautiful you are, and how attracted to you I am, but I never recall you ever saying that I look good or that I look handsome.' She stopped applying her mascara long enough to dismissively roll her eyes at me. I made the mistake of asking her, 'Do you even find me attractive?' And she flatly said, 'No.' I asked, 'Why did you marry me then?' And she said, 'I didn’t think it was important at the time.' I never felt so ugly and unloved. And it hurt even more when I had been feeling so good about myself for once in my life 30 seconds earlier." —Seandouglasmcardle 2. "When I realized if we weren’t together, I wouldn’t have wanted to be his friend." —[deleted] 3. "I realized that I was hiding good news from her because I knew she would make me feel bad about it. I hoped she was going to grow up and stop being selfish and childish. She never did." —Dash_Harber 4. "I got diagnosed with cancer, and she kinda shut off. She then decided to leave several months later. At an appointment, I was officially one year clear, which is a milestone. I realized I was alone through a lot of it. She never wanted anything to do with it. It was a revelation to me that the relationship breakdown wasn't all because of me." "I got my three-year tests this weekend, blood tests, and scans, etc. My current girlfriend is driving me and then taking me out to lunch afterwards. Hell of an upgrade." —HarrargnNarg 5. "When I came home from the ER after being diagnosed with a severe lung disorder, she immediately left me with the kids so she could go out drinking with friends. Her exact words were 'I need you to make them dinner, I'm running late to meet up with everyone.'" —No_Nectarine6007 6. "My husband ran off to play golf after we came home from the hospital with our son. A few days later, he went again, while I had to drive myself to the hospital with the baby. Turned out I had severe mastitis, 103-degree fever, and he just took off." —stinkykitty71 7. "Six months after our wedding, I found out about the affair through text messages. He had sent his affair partner screenshots of my texts to him in which I was begging him to talk to me and tell me what was wrong. They both proceeded to make fun of my desperation to fix my marriage, and his affair partner said something along the lines of 'Poor valiant, she doesn’t know anything and keeps begging you for attention and affection.' The moment I read those words, I realised how big a mistake I had made." —Valiantlycaustic 8. "One day, I realized I had become a smaller version of myself." —mlerin 9. "When I had been on mandatory bedrest and caring for our infant son, after having emergency surgery for nearly bleeding to death after a miscarriage, and he came home from work and looked me dead in the face and said, 'Why aren't the f*cking dishes done?' I called my mom the next morning and told her I was leaving. I hightailed it out of there two weeks later." —Neverinfocus 10. "This happened to me as well in another marriage. In the first one, we were just not remotely on the same level intellectually. I had just married someone who seemed supportive and with whom I got along. I thought I'd get it right the second time. When I met her, it was love at first sight. Literally, a bomb went off in my head. We were clearly soul mates and could talk about anything, and we grew and evolved together spiritually and emotionally." "But the sex was frankly awful. We just weren't physically compatible. But we brute-forced it for a few years out of mutual love. Until we couldn't drum up the passion anymore. And we just became really, really good friends. Eventually, she wanted passion in her life and called it off, realizing she wouldn't get it from me." —domesticatedprimate 11. "After the kid was born. Total shift. Turns out, only I wanted to be a parent." —Cobra-Serpentress 12. I realized it, like, five years into our 19-year marriage. But the nail that made me leave was when my ex said that our children hadn't EARNED his love, and that shook my whole foundation. I was speechless for two days, and then I started thinking, wondering if I had EARNED his love yet...and I couldn't stop those kinds of thoughts...you don't earn love...it is freely given — especially to children." —Far-Phone8791 13. "When I got her to admit she was having an affair. 10 years married, two kids. What a mess. She followed it up a month or two later, telling me she never loved a person like she does with her new partner. So, welcome to divorce land. Population, me." —RalphFTW 14. "When she slept with a high-school flame for a year whilst hiding it and staying home on my single income. We weren’t working. I was trying to improve things, and we’d talked about it, but she somehow neglected to give me that detail. I’m not angry that she didn’t love me. But just tell me! Don’t do me dirty like that after 13 years." —Winsdaddy 15. "On our wedding day. She spent a fortune on unnecessary things, and I knew I’d be the one footing the bill on the credit card she ran up. So, I told her no more, she said she wanted an ice cream vendor there (we already had two dessert bars), and I told her it was not needed. She fought me on it, but finally agreed. The wedding day comes, I’m standing with my groomsmen, in comes the ice cream truck. I knew right then, sadly." —StrangeJitsu 16. "I came home from a long day of work to find burn marks all over the carpet and linoleum. My then-husband had spent the entire day playing games on his PC. While doing so, he had been ignoring our puppy, who had managed to somehow get hold of a phone battery, bite through it, and cause a small fire. Thankfully, the dog wasn't injured. This event, on top of finding out shortly before he had been lying about going to community college for almost a year, was the turning point where my feelings died." —ttthelovewitchhh 17. "It was actually almost immediately after getting married. Our relationship had taken a nosedive as soon as we moved in together. But after we got married, while we were in Greece on our honeymoon, he absolutely lost his mind on me in public. I had wanted to go see a beach on the island that is supposed to be one of the most beautiful in the world, so we tried to catch the bus, but it never came. He screamed at me, telling me he hated traveling with me and how I could ruin his vacation like this. Then we walked to the beach nearby and he went swimming with his two friends, who he insisted come with us on the trip. I was too stunned and humiliated to do anything except sit on a beach chair and cry." —gridironbuffalo 18. "I had no idea how he felt about me. Almost nine years together. He didn't propose. I did. He didn't tell his family when we married. They found out online. He never shared his energy or emotions with me. I ultimately had a realization that I didn't even know what he thought of me, other than that I was pretty. I didn't know if he thought I was cool or funny or interesting or smart. I would share myself with him. My thoughts, interests, and humor. I'd get nothing in return. I realized it had always been this way. I felt unseen, unheard. I felt like I was boring and uninteresting. I didn't feel special. I just wanted to feel some sort of connection. I wanted our souls to meet. He seemed incapable." —Secure_Orange2855 19. "I waited on her hand and foot. Every night, brought her a tea. Checked every room to make sure there were no intruders, went to the store for her if she wanted a snack, etc. One day, I was really sick with the flu and asked if she'd get me a Gatorade from the store. She was shocked that I asked and said, 'Absolutely not.' Then, I thought about it and realized that she had never complimented me, supported me, nurtured me, consoled me, or shown any level of emotional care for me. I knew at that moment that she never would. All she did was complain that I didn't do enough for her. It took me a while, but I realized I was in an abusive relationship. The worst part is, I tried to make it work, still, after all that, and it was she who pushed me away because she wanted to move to Portland, because I didn't make enough money at the time." —incredibleninja 20. "When I realized that they were just mirroring my personality the entire time we dated, even after several years of marriage. They don’t have an original thought or individual aspirations. They have to be walked through every aspect of their life. They married me in hopes that I would mother them. They don’t even have an interest in sex after they found out it also requires emotional intimacy on their part." "Dragged them to the doctor who put them on SSRIs. Begged them to go to therapy. They kept quitting and could never give me adequate reasons why. We went to a couple's therapist, whom they manipulated into believing they had low self-esteem. The therapist told me to 'love them through it.' I sought out my own therapy. The clinician helped me realize I was being manipulated into the role of caregiver without my consent. I told them I was leaving. They promised to seek help. The new therapist saw them for two years. Within the first seven months, they were diagnosed as a covert narcissist. We are separated. I’ve never been happier. He’s utterly miserable because he moved back home." —Spiritual-Village-46 21. "When she sat me down and with a straight face said, 'I’ve thought about this and you’re not going to exercise anymore.' I was jogging a few miles a day and would usually bring the kids with me in a running stroller. She said, 'You’re a father and it’s too time-consuming.' That’s when I realized I made a terrible mistake." —JD054 22. "He threw a surprise birthday party for me, and towards the end, I was inside near the food table, and everyone had already gone outside. I affectionately called him over as he was passing by to have a moment, but he rolled his eyes and walked on, saying he was hanging out with so-and-so. Anyone, even a stranger on the road, was always more important. He just did not give a f*ck about me. He only did things for how he would appear to others." —100thusername 23. And finally, "When he didn’t mention me in his speech at our wedding. He thanked everyone else, commented on the bridesmaids, and talked about our daughters. I may as well not have even been there. The first night of our honeymoon, I got horrendously sick, and he left me alone in our room to go watch something on the big screen on the beach. So much for sickness and health!" —LBelle0101 Responses have been edited for length/clarity. Did YOU marry the wrong person? When did you realize it? Let us know in the comments, or, if you prefer to remain anonymous, leave your submission in the form below.
