Copyright BuzzFeed
People Are Revealing The Things That Scream “I Don’t Actually Love My Partner," And Some Of These Are WAY Too Common "When I first noticed this and brought it up, he broke up with me." When you're in a relationship with someone, it's normal to assume that this person deeply cares about you — but sometimes, things aren't always what they seem. So when Reddit user Separate-Simple-5101 asked: "What screams 'I don’t actually love my partner?'" so many people shared their answers below 1. "Ignoring their feelings or brushing off things that really matter to them." 2. "Putting their partner on the back burner as far as their wants/needs go. Everyone else (friends, family) comes first." —Particular-Peanut-34 "Yeah, my ex always worried about me acting like the perfect, most social and polite saint in front of his family and friends. Got mad if I didn't say or do the right things to them. But didn't even give a thought to how they treated me, whether they greeted or talked to me at all. It was only my responsibility." —aidalkm 3. "Treating them like shit, especially in front of other people. I have been in relationships and seen other relationships where one person will make their partner feel stupid or small in front of their friends just for some sick sense of approval, or to make themselves look better. Shit is gross and sad!" 4. "Loving what they do for you, not really ‘them.'" —Such-Swimming2109 "It took me 15 years to truly accept this was how my ex felt. It took me that long because I didn't think I deserved better, and I hoped things would change. I wasn't perfect, but it was really hard to want to be better or to try when it felt like I was a servant, and if I stopped serving, the relationship would end." —DaedeM 5. "When 'we' plans turn into 'I' plans real fast." 6. "Humiliating them in public and pretending it’s joking. Looking at a phone while they’re talking." —Key_Lie_6264 "Reminds me of when my ex-wife would correct me in front of people when I would say that I was a musician and a writer (aside from my actual day job). She would 'correct me' and say that I didn’t play in a band with anyone or record music, so I wasn’t a musician, and that I wasn’t a writer because I wasn’t published anywhere. Good riddance." —Beardbeer 7. "Putting undue stress and strain on their shoulders because you can't be bothered to behave like an adult." 8. "When you politely ask them to stop doing something and they just continue to do it." —Janos_Brushteckel "Or they do it even harder now to teach you a lesson for challenging them." —GooseandGrimoire "Asked my ex not to put our glass cake stand, which we got as a wedding gift, in the dishwasher. He looked me in the face and said, 'When you’re not around, I’m still going to do it.' And then it broke. SMH at younger me not bailing then and there." —codswallop29 9. "When one partner doesn’t feel they can talk to the other about issues in the relationship for fear the other will get angry or defensive." 10. "Their ability to push aside their own needs for the sake of their partner. I see a lot of folks who are so confident and intent about making sure boundaries are set in relationships. And while I certainly agree there should be some level of boundaries, part of being in love is being able to be flexible when needed. Some days just suck, some days you're sick, sometimes things come up, and you need help from your partner to get through whatever it is. And I see a lot of friends of mine who have partners who are just like, 'Well, that's your problem, you figure it out,' and I can't wrap my head around why they stay with them." —lineman77 "Yeah, some people confuse 'independence' with 'indifference.' Big difference..." —Separate-Simple-5101 11. "When they want a round of applause for doing something basic and say they did it for you. ‘I’ve loaded the dishwasher for you.’ No! You loaded the dishwasher; it’s an everyday task. I don’t have this issue with my wife, but I see it so much in her friends’ partners." 12. "Saying 'I love you' but doing nothing that shows love for their partner." —SundayMorningTrisha 13. "I overheard my ex’s best friend once saying, 'I could leave [girlfriend's name] tomorrow and not shed a single tear, not ever think about her again. I’m just being honest.' They’re now married with kids. 🙃" 14. "If someone asks them what they like about their SO, they only describe how that person makes their life easier." —Hot-Prize217 15. "Everything feels one-sided." 16. "When you take a backseat to everything else in their life. My last ex wouldn't usually invite me to things with his friends, always seemed to have something on weekends, texting habits were infrequent and sporadic, and I felt like the relationship ran on his time. When I first noticed this and brought it up, he broke up with me, maybe a month or two later. So yeah, I don't think he genuinely liked me." "My current partner actively has had me meet his close friends, hangs out with me on both weekdays/weekends, and wants to see me. I remember having a bit of insecurity and struggling with it, so I told him he didn't have to invite me, but he made it clear he wanted me there. It goes to show my current partner actually enjoys my presence and cares about me. Actions speak louder than words. No matter what kind of nice things they say, if their actions don't match up to it, they don't really mean it." —Spiritual_Gur_1944 17. "The whole 'in sickness and in health' really puts things into perspective. My cousin and his wife had been married for almost 20 years. She got into a car accident with a semi and now can't walk and has limited function and speech. He left her within a year." 18. "No small attentions, no compliments, no efforts whatsoever. It's not always super obvious because they can still be nice, go along with whatever plans you make, and be good company. But they never initiate anything." —Ersatz8 19. "Ignoring bids for connection. I would try to talk to my ex about things I was interested in or thought she would like to hear about, and she either fully ignored me or would give me one-word replies to shut me up." Have anything else in mind that screams "I don’t actually love my partner?" Tell us what it is and why, either in the comments or in the anonymous form below:
