Copyright BuzzFeed
People Are Sharing The "Warnings" To Look Out For During The First Six Months Of Dating, And Wow, I'm Stunned "An inability to handle rejection of any kind. Sometimes, for better or worse, the answer is 'no', and how people respond to this tells you so much about them." We asked the BuzzFeed Community to share which red flags they should look for six months into dating someone. Here's what they said: Some responses are also from this Reddit thread because they're just too good not to share. 1. "An inability to handle rejection of any kind. Sometimes, for better or worse, the answer is 'no', and how people respond to this tells you so much about them." "I've seen awful cases of this in both men and women. No, I won't sleep with you. No, I won't be your boyfriend. No, I won't give you money, No, I won't take you out. No, I won't meet you at X time in y place. No, I'm not interested. All totally acceptable answers to questions and situations." —metrofan 2. "I don’t like to date guys whose only sense of humor is sarcasm. Sure, it can be funny, more often in movies or on TV than in real life to me, but mostly it’s just really disrespectful. A lot of the time it’s belittling." —SamanthaParkington 3. "Watch someone's drinking habits from the beginning to see if they are compatible with your lifestyle. Someone who has five or six drinks on the first date will likely have far more once they are comfortable with you. Also, all of their friends will likely have the same habits. If binge drinking isn't your vibe, watch for this red flag right off the bat." —40, Michigan 4. "Inability to regulate emotions. If your partner can’t regulate their own emotions, they don’t have the tools to do so. Unfortunately, so many of us are raised without those skills, and if you’re considering having a family, it can continue the cycle with children. Finding someone who can identify what their own thoughts and emotions are, and they can regulate emotions so they can listen to another person and respond rather than react is key. I’m a therapist, and I’m guilty of marrying someone (now my ex) that was unable to communicate when he was dis-regulated, and it often ended in feeling scared/invalidated/intense anxiety and eventually PTSD. There are a lot of specific skills that can be taught to help people feel their emotions effectively, without harming others." —katielaines 5. "If someone does something mean, or offensive, or negative... but they do it in a very nice way. Like, they're all sweetness and sugar, but because of something they've just done, the world is just a little darker. I knew a girl who would be very childlike and cheerful all the time, but every once in a while, she'd say these things that could just tear you apart, but the way she'd word it and the tone she'd use, it would sound like she was just trying to be helpful. Took a while, but eventually I figured out that, no, she knew exactly what she was up to, and under all the sweetness and light was a witch." "These people are the Professor Umbridges of the world, and they're scarier and harder to handle, in my opinion, than the blatantly d*ckish ones. They're hard to pin down because they do all this nasty stuff, but it seems like they mean well, or they don't intend for things to go bad... but they still do it, and it usually turns out they know they're doing it, and they're doing it because it gets their rocks off. I'd rather handle an honest devil than a duplicitous angel any day." —corgi_fluff 6. "Scarce Communication. If they communicate with you a lot up front and then are really busy and do not respond to texts in a timely manner or at all, it's time to move on." —Noelia, 42, Oregon 7. "I can't stand it when a woman says things strictly for the purpose of gauging my reaction. Little 'tests' are annoying and can ruin a date for me very quickly. This behavior is transparent and makes me feel resentful. If you feel you have to test me, you fail." —Jay2TheMellow 8. "Pay attention to how the relationship started. If your S.O. cheated on their previous S.O. with you, they will cheat on you as well. It may not be right away; it may even be years down the line, but they will do it again. I'm not just talking cheating in the physical way. I'm talking emotionally as well. Many of my clients have had this issue, and from what I have seen, the only ones who stop cheating are the ones who finally seek help to figure out what the underlying reason is that makes them cheat. Of course, there are always exceptions, but they are very few and far between." —untamed_soul 9. "If someone interrupts me when I'm talking. Not every once in a while, but consistently. It shows a lack of respect for the other person and their opinions. And it makes me think you are an arrogant ass who thinks your opinions/thoughts are better/more valid than anyone else's." —[deleted] 10. "Those who are 'trauma survivors' but have not done any therapy to address their issues." "Or anyone who is unusually 'emotional' — especially if the emotion is anger —again, and they have done no therapy." —68, Pacific North West 11. "Not being happy being single, and being too dependent on me for their happiness. There is nothing more unattractive than knowing you dictate how they feel about themselves. If you don't have your own life and your own interests, it's ridiculous. I like me, but I want to date someone with whom I can (rationally) debate and who brings completely different things to the table." —[deleted] 12. "Flight from confrontation and unwillingness to discuss problems and compromise solutions where and when needed." —the__itis 13. "I pay very close attention to how a guy talks about his family. On first dates, I usually ask a guy if he's close to his family. The responses can be really illuminating." —blahblahblahcakes 14. "If you express concern about something that deeply troubles you and repeatedly get the dismissive response of 'You're overthinking it. Stop overthinking, etc.' Signals that they are unable to confront uncomfortable topics and would rather feel comfortable than listen to your concerns." —andeef 15. "No social life. I'm afraid that leads to me being their social life, and them resenting the fact that you don't reciprocate when you go out with friends, or go to visit family, or do something without them. No, you're not invited to any place that I go to." —lawrish 16. "If they talk sh*t about everyone, they're talking shit about you too. If the person directs toxic behavior toward most other people they interact with, you're going to catch some of it, too, especially after the relationship has aged a bit." —sassychupacabra 17. "Someone who worries too much about what others think of them...to the point of stress. Also, apathy...to a degree. Not giving a shit can be a good thing, but it can also bite you in the ass." —xSGAx 18. "Frequent mentions of a former partner (in my personal experience) tend to indicate that they haven't really gotten over that relationship. It's one thing to say, "My ex cheated on me," but quite another to say, "My ex was a lying whore." Using vitriolic language about someone who they used to love, regardless of what terrible things happened in that relationship, once again tends to suggest that the relationship is still on their mind." —[deleted] Responses have been edited for length/clarity. So, what other red flags should people watch out for? Let us know in the comments. Or, if you prefer to remain anonymous, leave your submission in the form below.
