“You are loved for who you are, not what you do.”
In this achievement-oriented world, when kids are overscheduled with extras—like private lessons and multiple leagues—it’s easy to equate success with worthiness. “Validation can feel like it’s only coming through their performance on the sports team,” Bernstein says. But what happens if you decide you want to quit softball or don’t have a good game?
It’s important to start learning at an early age that “your parents aren’t there because they’re thinking you’re going to hit a home run,” she says. “They’re there because they want to support you and you like the sport.” The sooner that message becomes imprinted on a kid’s brain, the less likely they are to lean into the anxiety and perfectionism that could chase them for a lifetime.