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We should just let all the straight white Aussie men run wild on Melbourne Cup day because it is ... all they have left. It is an embarrassing time to be a privileged straight white man, at least in the current Zeitgeist; they’ve become a joke. I know they are still getting paid more (the current pay gap in Australia is 11.5 per cent) and they’re still ruling the world (only 7 per cent of the top leadership roles are held by women) but they’ve become uncool. Tolerance for straight white men and their antics is waning, and making fun of them has become very socially acceptable. There’s a Vogue article going viral right now asking the bold question: “Is it embarrassing to have a boyfriend?” Men are losing their social power, and in Australia, the Melbourne Cup is becoming one of the last safe spaces for them. It’s one of the rare days now where men are encouraged to put on their chinos, button-ups, and R.M. Williams boots and live their best male lives. The scenes from today’s Melbourne Cup indeed prove men aren’t trying to rebrand at all. They’ve absolutely stuck to the script, and it does not matter how much they were ruthlessly mocked for dressing the same – they all dressed the same again. The men were seen lining up before the event opened, dressed in navy, grey, and black suits and patiently waiting to get through the security gates. Some were seen even taking phone calls, because they’re important men, doing important things. Once the gates were opened, it was immediate anarchy, and I dare say some R.M. Williams boots were scuffed in the battle to be first on ground. Unfortunately for the men, and this really isn’t helping them become cool again, there is no way to push through a revolving door with any dignity. The men in their suits were seen flailing around as they rushed to their race day and tried to navigate the monstrous contraption that is the turnstile. It is their version of a Boxing Day sale, and I think we’d be naive to think there wasn’t some elbowing. You just know someone lost a condom packet because it fell out of their pocket. For better or worse, the Melbourne Cup is quintessential Australian male culture at its most primal. The men bro-out, get drunk, probably fall over in some mud, and occasionally one falls in a bin or runs into a bin. A couple of years ago, I definitely would have rolled my eyes. These days, it feels far more … I don’t know, cute? Like a real, “aww look at all the men doing their man things”. I feel this way because the cultural landscape has changed so much, and I know we’re slow to make tangible progress. We need to fix the pay gap, and men need to stop calling women they don’t know “darl” but in general, women’s voices are getting louder everywhere. There’s also the bonus that women after centuries of being repressed and mocked and belittled, are finally culturally cooler than men. I have not heard a man call me “funny for a girl” in months, and I’m starting to feel more optimistic about equality. So, fine, the men can literally roll around on the ground at the Melbourne Cup for all I care, if we’re seeing more female bosses in the workplace. The men can have the Melbourne Cup because it doesn’t feel like they hold all the cards anymore. Which all makes me feel like their days of ruling the world are numbered ... and we can all drink to that!
